Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 2 February 2012
2 February 2012
Thursday wouldn't be Thursday without a daily dose of Darlo. Today your previously devious Deviant Diary shall mostly be eating chocolate chip cookies; and today's black and white hooped knights have a vague notion of local clubs for local people. Check out the hair on the left, which has definitely been drinking in the last chance saloon (home supporters only by order of the local police). The locals are dipping in to their community chest, though they haven't enough money to build little green houses on their single property. They haven't passed 'Go' yet.
Monochrome moments abound: eliminate the horizontal, accentuate the vertical. What of this Town they call Grimsby?
Let us turn as effortlessly as Roberto Duffia to the SNOS, officially the snossiest SNOS in footballdom. All eyes and ears peer at The Fentycon's emergence from exile. How did we manage without his weekly witterings? In some distressing sad-dad casual clothing, the power behind the drone intoned on and on about this and that. He's delighted by the unexpected Bryan Bennett windfall, but didn't reveal whether Town secured similar deals for Hank B Marvin and Bruce Welch, which is where the big money is in the Shadows squad.
Ah, yeah, Ryan Bennett, the universally liked old young boy, not the legendary drummer from the popular beat combo. Barrowboy Barry successfully persuaded Town to forego the right to get all the secret dosh immediately, so most of the jam comes tomorrow, if tomorrow ever comes. The orange-obsessed refrigeration magnet also revealed that Town couldn't consummate a second signing after the Louie Louie coup. There were another five minutes of Dale delvings, something about Fentycon and Shouty being two peas in a pod, if not birds of a feather. Ahh, the Gilbert and George of Grimsby.
The Shouty one shall be sat among the dentists for two games after his not-sexist-at-all rantathon. That'll give him time to work on his anger management issues before Blundell Park hosts TWO, that's TWO, girls' games in April. Or as the SNOS propaganda puts it: Town will be the venue for two UEFA-recognised international football matches. We're not saying it's wrong or nuffink but it just ain't natural, Town hosting international football fixtures.
One more thing: if you are thinking of Tweeting from Twerton you'd better beware. It's officially a bit cold so the game has as many doubts as Tom Newey under a high ball. Don't leave home without checking the SNOS, a woolly hat or a second pair of socks. And don't forget to tell your mum where you are going.
This message shall self-destruct in 10 years.