Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 18 March 2017

Division 4

Grimsby Town 1 Jones (22)

Crawley Town 1 Collins (45+1)

Attendance: 4263 (124 away fans)

Those canapé crunchers just can't get enough of Sam Jones.

He ran around, he tackled, he was the only monochromer to mess with their heads: Town's traction engine of torment, Sam Jones.

Dominic Vose: Crawley's best player. The borrowed Bunnyman broke up every Town attack with his swinging, swaying slow-motion meanders into cul-de-sacs of cobblers.

"We got into some really good goalscoring opportunities and to evolve and be better, those opportunities now have got to become chances now because if you look at our possession, we got into some good positions but we didn't really create any chances."

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Marcus the Wordmangler inherited a dull but effective team of grinders. He's transformed Town into a dull and ineffective team of hackers.

A few minutes per game of coherence does not add up to progress. That's just random. Can anyone see what the final destination is? What is the method? What is the plan? Town look like conceding goals and no-one apart from Jones looks like scoring. Where is that excitement? Where are those crosses that we were promised?

Tactical fluidity? In reality Town look like melting jelly moulds. I have every confidence that this Town have every prospect of possibly aspiring to the final play-off place in the Bananarama, with a bit of luck.

If they'd have bothered a bit more a bit earlier they would have won. They're nothing special; in fact they're a bit of a bore. Apart from Collins' poke, they probably would never have scored. These Crawlers were defensively shocking, yet Town only had a couple of shots all game. That says more about us than them.

Crawley are like everybody else: mid-table mumblers and stumblers.

Town are strictly second class. We don't understand why we should be on dead end street.

Mr C Boyeson (E Yorks)

The sins of the past shall never be forgiven. At least he only managed to send one Town player off today, so he's clearly warming to us. The North Bank nit was weirdly not too bad for several minutes now and again, being even-handed in his oddness, simply by adopting the approach of making decisions on strict rotation. But it's Boyeson, so only 3.333 will do. He is still suffering deductions from a decade ago for the mad world of Donny-Darlo.

Two bald men fighting over a combover.

In a word: GIGO