Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 12 August 2017

Division 4

Grimsby Town 0

Coventry City 2

Attendance: 6767 (1357 away fans)

Danny Collins. Well he didn’t do anything wrong and a lot of things right

Sure, sure. Collins and Clarke did their old heads routine and Dembele scared them witless in the first half, but if anyone came out of this game with his reputation enhanced it could only have been Scott Vernon. For once faultless.

If the game doesn't go to plan, all the time, you ensure that you get something out of the game. We didn't do that today, but that's the learning bit

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So how are we going to score and who is going to score them?

So how are we going to stop the opposition and who is going to stop them?

Apart from Dembele's occasional sways and swishes there is nothing else at all going on. Anywhere. Jones was utterly wasted as a left-sided attacker, offering nothing in defence or attack. Cardwell was physically overwhelmed and utterly isolated chasing slops and it all stemmed from the absence of anything in midfield. There was nothing in the centre of midfield except a muscleman and either Berrett and/or Summerfield when the crowd want neither and nor.

The creaking old defence mostly neutered equally unthreatening opponents (except their Jones), with the smothering duvet deployed when Dixon was flayed. Poor, poor Dixon was found wanting, looking like a non-League player against the preening pony-tailed pompatus. And not a very good non-League one either. Dixon was way out of his physical depth against a pacy trickster.

Town: no creativity, nothing beyond Dembele. Save us Siriki, you are our only hope. Another season of home grinding and gurning beckons. But at least we got rid of Gavin Gurning.

New Kids in Town

Harry Cardwell had a thankless task wandering around on his own but let’s look on the bright side of life: he's very good at chasing back-passes. He did run around and Harry did harry and hassle 'em.

JJ Hooper - Hooperman or Superman? More of a heartless ambler. You'd think someone making their debut, at home, would at least get stuck in and hare around. He most definitively has no aptitude or desire to be a lone striker.

Diallang Jaiyesimi - Will we be singing Dia-la-lang as he runs with our gang? DJ Jinky has a couple of tricks and at least showed willing where others were found wanting.

The bashful Bantams of yesteryear? Better, stronger and faster Sladeball than the one and only truly original Sladeballers. Coventry were nothing much beyond rigid discipline, running around and crying a lot. It was more than enough to repel the piffling powderpuffery from Slade's pinball gizzards. Like Town, the sky bloaters have one player of note and consequence – Jones. Unlike Town, they have a simple structure and players to fit into that structure. Actually, that's a bit too reductive, they had a whole midfield that worked very hard and knew what they were supposed to be doing. Coventry were negatively competent with snidey sneakiness that some may call "professionalism", others may call cheaty con-artists. Maybe they are all like that in Division Three.

Coventry are no different to Wycombe or Cambridge from last season: nothing to be scared of and deeply, deeply mundane. They don’t yet realise how far that gets you these days.

With nothing to watch but their watches we silently watched the wheels on the Russ fall off.

Mr R Clark

What a blinkin' berk. The only things he didn't give Coventry were penalties, everything else they got what they whined and dined for.

But history will only be bothered about the goal that was but wasn't. He had several opportunities to save face, to eradicate his egregious error. Forget the mithering over the (non-) whistle, or where it should have been taken, or logical interpretation of the events – all these things are irrelevant, for if Clarke was deemed to have taken it McNulty was less than ten yards away when it was kicked. Simple really. And another thing - Berrett should have received a straight red card. What a chicken liver parfait on sour dough toast. Shall we squeeze the lemon?

There is only one number fit for this fool -3.2226 (minus three point two two two six). Should not officiate in games where people pay to watch.

Whistle while you work, the referee's a berk, they are whiny, he is barmy, 4-1-4-1 at home just doesn't work.

In a Word: drivel