Cod Almighty | Article

by Captain Crayon

23 November 2017

Dreading another summer of tears after the club offloaded Messrs May to July 2017, Disley, Pearson and Gowling? Worry no more! From the people that brought you the Horsebox Driving Ban Commemorative Plate and the Boston Utd v John Fenty Court Judgement Limited Edition Lithograph, never miss another game or stadium planning delivery date again with your very own GTFC Calendar 2018!

Don't let three-month loans to Chester or two-bit contract negotiations with star players ruin your season! This year's calendar will feature the one person guaranteed* to be still in the building for the whole of 2018 and beyond.

Yes, that's right, an entire year of John Fenty to go with the 16 we already have. Available in two formats: six-month rolling or undisclosed**

Featuring your favourite non-chairman in some of his most memorable poses:

• Pole-dancing John
• Saying important things while wearing a tie John
• Freezing your bits off listening to Peaks Parkway Nimbys John
• Wistful John
• Casual male chauvinist on national TV John
• The bum art one

*guaranteed double your benign loans back or the price of the calendar, whichever is less

**either format liable to end without notice

***while every attempt has been made to crop ex-players, managers and racist fans from the calendar photos, some remnants may remain