The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

You're my wife now

15 January 2020

Miss Guest Diary writes: At the time of writing, the signing of a third player in January is a "done deal". But not done enough to be on the official website and I'm tired of refreshing NewsNow. So, if it all falls through and James Tilley doesn't join Town, I apologise for raising anyone's hopes.

I confess my hopes are never raised by these rumours because I don't take any interest in any football player until I actually see him in the black and white stripes. According to the Grimsby Telegraph, Tilley is an "attacking midfielder", which had me worried for a moment. Little Harry and The Hess are my current favourite Town players and I wouldn't want to see them displaced by a newcomer. But I have been assured by Cod Almighty's own match reporter that Tilley's too lightweight for central midfield and is more likely to play on the wing. Possibly bad news for Max Wright, but could it be an indication that Ollie might favour 4-4-2? One can only hope.

Only time will tell whether Ollie's signings will be any good or whether they'll join the ranks of the dozens of other players who've been through the revolving door at Blundell Park in the last 20 years. It never ceases to amaze me that Mr 'I've got a freakish memory for football trivia' Butcher manages to spot at least one ex-Town player in every single lower division or non-League game we watch on TV.

And he doesn't confine this freakishness to football, you know. We listen to the Pop Master bit of the Ken Bruce Show every day and it's a rare occasion when he doesn't get the "in which year" question right. Yet he can't remember which cupboard the bin bags are always kept in or, on bin day, whether it's the household rubbish or the recycling bin which needs putting out. Must be stored in a different part of the brain, I suppose.

I really liked the very gracious statement which Cleethorpes Town made about releasing Ben Davies to take up a permanent coaching role at Town. Sometimes I think Blundell Park is a bit like Roysten Vasey – "You'll never leave!"

While reading that statement I noticed a headline on the same page referring to Caine Winfarrah. I don't remember much about him as a player: he is chiefly memorable for his magnificent name, which always seemed like it must be an anagram of something else.

I feel sorry for clubs when the name of the manager always precedes that of the club in the media. For example: Frank Lampard's Derby. But now it's Frank Lampard's Chelsea, who were previously Jose Mourinho's Chelsea. How does that feel for fans? Is it a bit like your husband running off with another woman?

With Ollie continuing to feature heavily in the media, both local and national, how long will it be before we become Ian Holloway's Grimsby Town? Or has that already happened? In eighteen month's time (the usual length of a managerial stay in recent times), will we be jealously reading about his new footballing mistress?

Only time will tell. UTMM