Cod Almighty | Diary

Has anyone actually watched a James Bond film since the Grace Jones one?

20 February 2020

Bottom-of-the-Barrel Diary writes: I can tell my diary nom-de-plume is fitting when I find myself booked for a quiet Thursday in February when things are going well. Town won last Saturday? Check. General feeling of benevolence towards everyone at the club? Yes.

What, even Squeaky? Yes.

Are you sure? Well, I haven't had an angry thought about him for over three days now, a personal best. So, yes. GTFC-wise at least, things are okay. The rest of the world is going to hell in a handcart but that is of lesser interest. Oh, hang on. I've just remembered we gave a frog-faced racist his own personalised shirt.

Readers of a certain vintage will remember a series called Lovejoy which featured Ian McShane as a dodgy antiques dealer. He spent a lot of his time standing on a box trying to reach the chin of his love interest Lady Jane or sitting in a pub with fellow reprobates Tinker and Eric from Lovejoy. In between these familiar set-pieces there would be a series of wheelings and dealings, tricky-dickies, comedic-capers, hows-about-that-thens and oompus boompus antiques malarkey that always left Ian McShane's normal-size arch-rival Charlie Gimlet in a state of crimson-faced rage. He would express this rage by throwing something to the floor, usually a cigar, a fake painting or a Tescos Ming Vase, and shouting "Loveeeejjjjooooyyyyyyyyyyy!" at the top of his voice.

That's how I feel being a Town fan a lot of the time. Things are going well! What's that? We're not concerned about the Stevenage bra-botherers and won't be pursuing the matter? We spent three trillion pounds pursuing a ridiculous Peaks Parkway stadium? We've given a shirt to a frog-faced racist? Steve Wraith still has the same hair? "Fennnnnnnntttttttttttyyyyyyyyyy!"

What I'm getting at, is never ever settle on your laurels – or anyone else's laurels, come to that – and think everything is going swimmingly at our favourite club. It's an illusion. Sooner or later, like a shark's fin breaking the surface of Lake Placid, something stupid this way comes.

Incidentally, yesterday the  at footy to raise money for prostate cancer. Despite playing on a pitch that had recently been used for growing potatoes, everyone hopefully had a good time. So let's finish on a positive note. Good things are organised by good people with good results. Take care.