Cod Almighty | Postbag
The one with the cheap laugh at Hull
2 March 2004
Hello there lettererists. We've had a few lengthy rants in the past two weeks - but I guess people are slightly happier now. It's certainly nice to see a letter from the educated folk of Barnsley this week. I'm always impressed by their good natured repartee in the face of overwhelming embarrassment - which is why I've given the letter of the week to one such Tyke today.Anyway, you know the routine. Email email@example.com and we'll give you a spot on this here letters page.
I'm in the process of putting together a real ringtone for each league club and was wanting to know what a Grimsby fan would want as the ringtone on a mobile phone. Is there a particular song associated with the club or a current popular chant? What do Grimsby come out to at the moment?
from Tim (Cherry Red Records)
Letters Ed responds: What is that tune we come out to? Some kind of fanfare type thing isn't it? I still remember the days of 'those magnificent men' at the end of the match.
Popping a nerve
Thanks Mr Blackandwhite-Barmy for pointing out I had the dates wrong when it came to my GT mug. Who gives a shit? I've got the mug and you haven't. It's obvious you are jealous, and quite right too. I was just in such a hurry to share my find with other Town fans I didnt have time to leave work; go home; check the mug for dates and authenticity; travel back to work; and write feedback. Sorry.
Still on the auction theme of the official site, is there room for this? AUCTION: GT commerative mug, used to drink liquids, including stirling tap water. There is the smallest chance that this water may have fallen from the sky, run through Kevin Drinkell's hair and into the water system; eventually being pumped out by Scottish water, to produce 'Stirling Council Pop'. So it is virtually the cup that Kev Drinkell washes his hair with. BUY BUY BUY!
I hope everyone including Mr B&W takes this lightheartedly. I don't wish to find any severed horses heads in my bed.
from Tim Smith
Letters Ed responds: Steady on Tim. I'm sure Mr B&W-Barmy always takes things lightheartedly...but...hmmm....no actually...can I encourage a fight here....FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT...
Rowan for manager
It has been suggested that the Board may be keeping Rodger and Woods on to save the severance money and I must agree it's something that our Board is quite capable of doing but of course its totally false economy if, to save a few quid they keep them on in charge and we go down.
What is more likely to happen is that Rodger will keep us up and become a hero overnight. He will then be in a great position to argue for a lengthy contract which, because of pressure from the fans, Furneaux will finally but reluctantly agree to.
In the 2004/5 season Town will go down like a sack of shit into Division Three but everyone will optimistically point out at the start of 2005/6 that we are too good for the third and that with the great signings Rodger has made we will bounce straight back. By Christmas 2005 we will be lying in the bottom six and rows will develop in such eminent intellectual publications as the Fishy MB between the worlds greatest brains about whether Rodger should be sacked or not (the bells must be deafening by now.)
Furneaux calls Rodger in and tells him he must stop playing and concentrate on managing. Rodger gently points out to the old duffer that he hasn't played for five years or so and Rodger gets a vote of confidence.
In February 2006 as Town sit one place above the Conference Rodger is fired and Woods is asked to take over until a new man is found. The Fishy MB correspondents suggest dozens of replacements with Groves prominent. Woods agrees and wins his first game. Furneaux says the corner has been turned and lets see how Woods and his assistant, the really mean steward from the Pontoon, get on...
from Roger Swindells
Does Gareth Lightfoot look like a smug twat on the front of your site or what? He certainly writes like one.
from Daniel Webster
Barnard the star
Quoting from the Collins Pocket Guide to 'Stars & Planets' 3rd Edition ISBN 0-00-710079-5 (I Ridpath), Page 265 last paragraph:
from A star's most vital statistic is its mass, fo
Letters Ed responds: DJ
A letter from our friends still struggling to get out of the third division
Fear not. I don't wish to start yet another pointless debate about whether or not Grimsby is, or isn't, part of Yorkshire (although I can sense a certain work colleague counting to ten trying to resist the urge.)
The fact of the matter is that Hull is in Yorkshire. And to prove this beyond all reasonable doubt, I attach the evidence:
...and for that aforementioned colleague, that doesn't mean that Grimsby will be in Division Two and Hull in Division Three.
Letters Ed responds: That's evidence enough for us. But it just proves what we knew already. Enjoy your 'derby' with Scunny again next season
Your preview states "the real danger for me is Steve Howard". Given Howard got both of Luton's goals last night is there any chance you lads could do some scouting work for the club?
from Dave Chambers
Bad time 'keeping
Unless Town have got some kind of plan all worked out that we don't know about, this is a bloody shambles. Rodger has told the OS - after the Luton game - that bringing in a loan keeper is "something that he needs to seriously look at". Damn right it is.
The GTST press release in which the Grab-a-Goalie scheme was announced said: "However good the financial planning of a company is, incidents such as the one between Benjamin and Davison last Saturday cannot be legislated for. This has left GTFC in a difficult position in that there is no-one to wear the Number 1 jersey from next Saturday." Isn't the subtext of this that a professional football club need only have one goalkeeper on the books at any one time who is capable of playing first-team football? Because if it is, it's obviously bollocks.
Grab-a-Goalie itself is a fine idea and the trust is to be applauded for it. But at the time of writing, the club has made no mention of the scheme on its official website, preferring to publicise an appeal by two fans to raise cash for a bloody great big flag. Which I'm sure is nice and everything, but a bloody great big flag is not going to stop Michael Boulding scoring this Saturday, is it.
So is Pettinger going to play against Barnsley if no loan keeper arrives? The club reported on 27 January that he had returned to training after fully recovering from his broken finger. I think he's a reasonable keeper, from what I've seen of him, but plunging a rookie no. 1 into a relegation battle behind a notoriously porous defence is a sure-fire way to wreck his career.
I would really like to believe that somebody somewhere at BP has everything in hand.
from Pete Green
They all count
The Guest Diarist reckons we were bloody awful last night (Tues 24th). Well thanks for reminding us. The joy of that last minute goal had clouded my mind and I held my head high in the office this morning for the first time in ages.
My Town loving German friend was equally ecstatic. He last saw Town win against Northampton at Wembley 98. He was also wearing his newly purchased lucky 'Grimsby is not in Yorkshire' t-shirt!
Jevons for England. Oh, and Ford for Jamaica...
Letters Ed responds: Yeah, and Rover are outsourcing to Trinidad & Tobago
For the visit of Luton you warned about Steve Howard being a threat. He duly scored twice. For Saturday you believed the inexperience of Craig Ireland could be exploited. And Ireland - the player not the country - was sent off. Is the club reading your previews?
Is there any chance you could put your previews up any earlier? The previews for the weekend games seem to appear on Friday and I tend to go out on a Friday night and miss some of them because of that. I imagine it is the same with other Town fans which could be a shame as they are probably the best 'before a game' read going. Complete with your always entertaining reports and the diary's daily dose, your coverage of the Mariners is the best throughout, better than any other web site and showing the Grimsby Daily Mail a thing or two about writing with pathos. Keep up the good work. Excellent site and it seems to be getting better all the time.
from Dave Chambers
Letters Ed responds: Cheers Dave. We'd get the previews out earlier but poor old Si has to balance writing the preview, looking after his bairn and doing his proper job. The rest of us are too lazy to write it for him y'see.
A reasoned Barnsley fan writes
BARNSLEY IS A SMALL CLUB? BIGGER THAN YOURS FISHY PEOPLE. ENJOY YOUR MOMENT OF GLORY! THE MIGHTY RED ARMY WILL MARCH ON AND ON AND ON INTO DIVISION 1!! AND WE WON'T MISS YOUR PISSY LITTLE TEAM!
Letters Ed responds: Quite. Anyway, see you next season for more of the same, yeah?
I would like to offer my sincere apologies for my previous email regarding Mr Strachan. After Luton and Barnsley he wouldnt want to come near BP if he's avoiding anything to do with watching football played at its most entertaining. I therefore respectfully withdraw my suggestion. Also, if Tony Crane is applying for the job I would give him it. Well put it this way, I wouldnt bloody argue with him.