Cod Almighty | Postbag
The one that's really late
16 June 2004
Well I'm just sat here waiting for new signings and the new fixture list, so I thought it probably best if I ran a letters page as there's been demand for it by all of...oooh...four people.Email email@example.com with your musings.
Goon but not forgotten
In your diary of May 6, you write: "The Diary, meanwhile, is going to stop typing and spend a few moments remembering what it was like to see a defender in a Town shirt who could actually defend. Mmmmm. It was good."
Not only good Mr Diary, Town defending used to be Arsenal-like! I remember an away match at Ipswich Town where a Town back four of Gallimore, R Smith, Handyside and McDermott was likened to that season's Arsenal defence (which included Tony Adams and Martin Keown) by a Daily Telegraph hack. As I said Mr Diary, not only "good", but bloody great!
from Swiss Martin
Where were you when we were crap?
Please can you issue a new T-shirt for this summer and next season with '2002-2004 - I was there when we were crap' with something in smaller words underneath like 'Crap is temporary, Town are for Life'.
from Sean Carr
The Stace of spades
Stace has been at Town for six years - I can not believe it. Has it been that long? Crikey.
from Mark Walsh
CA in lottery windfall shocker
DIAMOND LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL Ref. Number: 639/898/002 Batch Number: 430456543-DD23
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International programs held on the 30th April, 2004. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number 278541465006-4872 with serial Number 1772-554 drew lucky numbers 5-14-18-23-33-39 which consequently won in the First category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$1,000,000 (One Million United States Dollars) CONGRATULATIONS!!!
from Mevr. Vero Stanley, Lottery Coordinator
Letters Ed responds: Great, my favourite kind of lottery: one where I win without even entering. Can you make the cheque payable to 'Grimsby Town FC' please?
I've been living out of Grimsby for the last twenty years and wouldn't mind keeping up-to-date on the Town's football club. I live in Spain and don't get any news. Kevin Drinkell used to play for Town, what happend to him? He's my half cousin!
from Lynda Sinclair
Letters Ed responds: Briefly: Norwich in 85. Rangers in 88. Coventry in 89. Falkirk as player-coach in 92. Stirling Albion in 94, and then soon manager there. Montrose as manager in 98. Unemployed since 2000. You could've just rung him up and asked him though...
The do the what now?
Squad numbers? Bin 'em. Too expensive, too pretentious and too damn many of 'em. Calls for spending money on players? No, spend your money on a youth policy and make sure you damn well play them when you have a chance. Calls for 'sack the board'? Popular, but from people who haven't a clue about running a business, talking to the bank manager and having large personal debts involved with the club. I'm not defending the board, just pointing out that if you had the money you'd think twice or be a fool. Calls for sack the manger? errrrr...I agree. Calls for a new ground? Get the bloody thing built. How many times has the money been there and we let the chance slip? With property prices the way they are at the moment the cost has probably risen drastically. The new shirt? Sad to say, it is the Barca and will cost Nike sod all to produce as it is produced already, they just entertained us to make more for themselves. We make it out to be a sign of 'dealing with the big boys'. Wake up we are the exploited. Radio Humberside? The pay back will occur next season. Town v. Scunny/Boston will be highlights in favour of Hull v Wimbledon, 'cos Wombles were Premiership not long ago you know. CSKA Sofia? Bin it. We'll beat them and learn nothing. Play some local hard clogging sides to hit the ground running. Newspaper polls? The ET should keep their stirring paddle to themselves and stop trying to 'set the agenda'. Instead of hiding behind 'what the public want' they should declare their hand and say what they really think. Weak beer? It's for wusses. Permanent temporary seating? Lets try to get our money back after all these years. One lonely occupant. Kids for a quid? How about a family for a fiver at selected games. Me finishing this rant? OK.
from Ian Jackson
Letters Ed responds: Deep breaths. Count to ten. Lie down.
What are stupid letters?
What are "swingeing budget cuts"?
Letters Ed responds: They do exactly as it says on the tin
The Diary said 16 was the number of pieces on a chessboard. Horseshit! Unless you play a very one-sided game or have a game without pawns I suppose. Last time I played we had eight pawns and eight other pieces each, making 32 in all. Stick to your fancy words and leave the maths and poncey games to us what know 'em eh?
from Mat Hare
As the most erudite source of GTFC info, I find myself once again corresponding with my thoughts. Typical decision by the board. They were pursuing someone they thought they had a deal with and who then asks for more money? Why wasn't this picked up on during the negotiations? Surely you can judge the way someone accepts your offer. If he or his agent weren't happy, you must be able to see the wince at the initial amount offered, or is it just me that thinks body language and nervous twitches are, in the main, obvious?
Also in typical fashion, the board decide a 'deal is a deal' so walk away when the increase is asked for. In an ideal world you should walk away when you begin to feel cheated, nobody likes to get screwed, but in this case could it prove to be a decision where pride goes before a fall? Negotiate a little and meet half way? If this is the way the bloke deals with the club, I would hope he would drive as hard a bargain to bring players to the club.
What do the board do next? They look for the bloke who 'impressed them at the interview.' Two points: The board have already proved to be impressionable, so I wouldn't set my hopes high that they have been impressed with any substance, probably he just said the right things and is a nice bloke; and again Town are settling for what they can achieve (i.e. the second option) rather than continuing to get the first choice.
The only synergie I can find is that he is moving from a frozen chip sponsored stadium to a team sponsered by a fish company. Doesn't say much for the football, does it?
from Ian Jackson
Letters Ed responds: Or we could all just show a bit of patience and see what Russ comes up with, eh?
Well, how much did Mat beat that pin sticking simian buffoon by then? He may only have one reader, but you can't just brush his column under the carpet and forget about it...
And if that Chimp came to me looking to borrow a tenner for the weekend coupon, I know what I would tell him.
from Paul Wright
Letters Ed responds: I think Andy finally got this done didn't he? After much hassle from Mat I might add. I still think the chimp is better looking though
Everything's turning out alright
Wow what a rough past two years we have witnessed. Love the board and their ambition for the club. Each time we have gone for the cheap option and twice we have been relegated. Hopefully Slade can do something but with a thin-spread of players it looks an impossible task.
What a weekend when we were relegated. I then lose my job at 9.45am May 10th - I was such a happy chappy that week, nearly as wound up as I was at Prenton Park! God knows how I stayed in the ground.
On the bright side we can look forward to a weekend in Southend (ooh Essex girls). If town don't score, us lads should at least. A fun day in the pretty town of Swansea, where we can wave to the prisoners next door and sing: 'you're going down, I mean you've gone down'. Days out in Rochdale, Macclesfield, Chester and 'We're going to Shrewsbury'. It could be worse than third division: we could be a Scottish team. Bloody hell that would be painfull.
from Ian Blakemore
Letters Ed responds: Macclesfield's quite nice. I'm looking forward to that.
Danny Butterfield: Premiership player
Danny Butterfield, Premiership player. Who in their right mind would have thought that?
from Tony Rogers
Letters Ed responds: Danny Butterfield, maybe? And Stuart Rowson if you believe his letter in the GET
In today's Telegraph a report notes that Russell Slade is running up his phone bill. I assume and hope that like any other employee making work calls from his own phone, Slade will be claiming these calls back. And I hope he's on a contract deal and not pay-as-you-go. Call charges are so much more on pay-as-you-go. In these times the club should be wary of leaking money on silly things like that.
from Mark McManus
Tie a yellow t-shirt round the old bus stop
I've just finished watching the lunchtime edition of Look North on the BBC (yes, I am unemployed) and Clare Frisby was interviewing 'King of the Jungle' Phil Tuffnell outside Headingly cricket ground. I wasn't really bothered about the interview, it was the background that was interesting me. Where had I seen that bus stop before? Oh yes, Si Wilson and his limited edition yellow T-shirt. However, I still don't know whether it is actually a bus stop or not.
from Richard Lord
Given the usual high standards of accuracy on the site, I was disappointed to see you perpetuating that oft-made journalistic mistake of referring to a limited company declaring itself bankrupt. Companies can go into administration, receivership or liquidation (sometimes all three) but only individuals can declare themselves bankrupt. Get it right!
from Sue Firth
Letters Ed responds: Well, y'know, you expect your editor to pick these things up. We're obviously not paying him enough peanuts[Letters Ed]
Fifth cousin, twice removed
Sorry to use the letters page as a sort of friends reunited thing, but is that the Mike Prowle, son of Alan, brother of Sian? If it is then hello from an erstwhile very occasional Swigs drinking buddy.
from Al Wilkinson
Why I literally support my club
I literally live just 150 yards from the Peterborough United football ground, so what makes me dive a 200 mile round trip to watch the Mariners? Is it the class football they play? Not for the last couple of seasons. The magnificent stadium with all the modern comforts and facilities with the fan in mind? Maybe the excitement of the goals at the ball hits the back of the opponent's net? Let's be honest, once born and bred in Grimsby there is only one football team (good or bad) and that's Grimsby Town FC - the Mariners. I'm stuck with them and I wouldn't have it any different.
from Mick Samuels
Letters Ed responds: That's quite a coincidence because I metaphorically live just next door to Barry Fry
Looking out for a hair-o
Given his love of footballers' barnets, what are Tony Butcher's views of the hairdos on display from Portugal at the moment? Are there any particularly eye-catching efforts, some that are present lamentable examples of modern fashion, or even the odd throw-back to an age bygone (which could fit in with modern fashion)?
Could we possibly have a regular Tony Butcher Hair Watch or is the man too busy soaking his overworked fingers in a soothing fingerbath?
from Dave Chambers
Letters Ed responds: I think he's using the summer break to brush-up on his prog rock
Play for OUR club
Any chance of a list of confirmed and contracted players for next season on the web site? Perhaps we could have a little celebration when we reach 11 and another if we reach 14.
Letters Ed responds: Andy Holt has been working on something just like that. Expect to see it in the next day or two
From the BBC website: "Simpson told the Bucks Free Press: 'Grimsby are an ambitious club. It wasn't long ago they were in the First Division and I think it could be a good move for me.'" Is this the same Grimsby? Ambitious? The man is obviously insane. Or out of contract and arse-licking for all he's worth. Keep up the good work chaps.
from Rich Mills
Tales from topographic oceans
In your Leyton Orient piece you note the O's have Alan White from Colchester. Not the old drummer from Yes then?
from Nigel Andrews