Cod Almighty | Postbag
Postbag: the humans are dead
4 October 2007
Mmmm, slight warm postbag. Against naked flesh. Lovely. Make my day. E-mail your dithering and datherings to email@example.com and let me feel your postage. Oh yeah.
Is there any scope for a decent T-shirt to remember the super 97/98 season? I remember the club brought out some terrible ones after the whole event, but I'm sure the boys at Cod Almighty Towers could do a much better job. I'm not sure if I'll be buying an Alan Buckley black and white army one as well lads. I moaned like mad when he came back (didn't really feel like progress at the time) and I feel my work colleagues would see it as hypocritical of me. Thinking about an Aidan Davison one as well? Might sell well with about five Colchester United fans?
from John Pakey
Letters Ed responds: Aidan Davison? One that says "couldn't be arsed the second time" or something?
It's just a key. Next to the one you've just pressed. There. Just
iS hARRY STILL IN PRODUCTION? WOULD LIKE TO BUY AN INFLATABLE FOR THE ICELANDERS AT READING F C .
from Len Graham
Letters Ed responds: Er. Probably. Caps Lock. Mentalist.
I visit Chapman's pond regularly. Me and my friend often get polystyrene boards from the factory next to the pond and paddle out to the middle. I must say it gets strangly hot at night and as my dad is a scuba diver we stole some gear off him and delved deep down. Honestly, it was getting so deep the pressure was crushing us nearly and we still did not reach the bottom. Don't you think it is strange that it gets warm at night? Chapman's pond is a beautiful place and it is one of my favourite interests at the moment. Have you ever swam to the middle of it? It has been cut-off from the public and should be re-opened. It has a sign saying "deep water keep out". How ironic is that? It is certainly strange but great at the same time. It is also growing.
from Tom Bishop
Letters Ed responds: Thanks Tom. Just take it easy with the drug cocktails though, eh? Especially before swimming...
Recently I sent you an e-mail enquiring if you would be willing to sell advertising space on your site.
Sometimes my e-mails end up in spam filters so I thought I would try one more time to get in touch with you and see if you are at all interested. We are willing to negotiate a whole year's advertising straight off. That means we guarantee we will not pull out after only a few months. [gratuitous advertising removed] is a price comparison website, helping people to find products at the very best prices.
If you require any further information do not hesitate to contact me.
from Stephanie Wood
Letters Ed responds: I expect your e-mails end up in spam filters because your e-mails are spam. Fucking stupid marketing twat.
My name is Jo and I was born in 1964 in Croft Baker maternity home - I am also a twin. The Croft Baker maternity home is in Cleethorpes. So you are a meggie! I know this as the Croft Baker before it belonged to my distant ancestors. My Grandma was a Grant. I now live in Sherborne Dorset and I still get ribbed occasionally about being a northener. There are a lot of insecure sad bullies out there who are not very intelligent. By the way did you see programme last night with John Hurt? I used to live in Waltham in the 60's and 70's. "Those were the days my friend I thought they'd never end"... I shall stop now.
from Joanna Gardner
Letters Ed responds: I am not a meggie. How dare you.
Blessed is the Meek
Great write up Meeky! I laughed out loud. I totally agree - some Grimsby and Cleethorpes inhabitants need to realise this little bit of NE Lincs is not the centre of the universe, and sometimes the bigger picture is more important...
We write on behalf of the Football Data Co Limited which is the appointed licensee of the FA Premier League, the Football League, the Scottish Premier League and the Scottish Football League ("the Leagues") in respect of the licensing of certain intellectual property rights of the Leagues, including those in the fixture lists for this season August 2007 - May 2008 ("the Fixture Lists"), for use by third parties.
We have noticed that your website http://codalmighty.com is displaying Football Fixtures. In order to display the Fixture Lists you must either obtain the necessary license from Football DataCo (firstname.lastname@example.org) or be an officially nominated fanzine for your chosen club. If you are not nominated as the official club fanzine and you do not wish to purchase a fixture license you can post a link to your club's official site.
Without nominated fanzine status or a license there is no provision for any fixture to appear in advance of the match being played. However, if there is an editorial preview of the next upcoming match in which the fixture is mentioned then this is unlikely to be objected to provided this is done in a clearly editorial form. Mentioning more than one fixture would not be accepted.
We thank you for your cooperation.
from Philip Stubbs
Letters Ed responds: Dear DataCoCo. We have long advertised (for free) upcoming football matches for our club and other clubs we are playing. We did this out of the kindness of our hearts. But now that we have decided to become heartless, capitalist shit-stains on society, please could you forward the sum of £1,034,587 as back-payment for the advertising we have carried over the preceeding seasons in line with our new "money grubbing" policy. Yours with much insincerity.
Fenty has spent plenty
Got to say I really enjoy your coverage of the town, its better than the official website and all the other offerings. However, I really am suprised by todays diary. What I read in the Chairman's statement was firstly that Blundell Park is unsustainable, and that the chairman is unwilling to invest more of his funds in an "average" football team.
An unsustainable asset is pointless to possess. By the looks of it BP is falling down, and up-keep must be massive. It also does not provide the club with much income, as one must assume that 5000 times 20 quid every other week is not really enough to pay the wages of 30 plus people and keep an ageing football ground in a good state. I'm no buisness expert, I can't even spell buisness, but it would seem obvious that investing in a new stadium, paid for in part by the real estate on which BP stands, would mean less bills in the future. Large grounds can generate income from gigs, having other facilities on offer and ticket sales. The point Fenty is trying to make is that the club has no money and will require £200,000 at least to keep it going. He points out the considerable amount of cash he has personally injected, which of the end of the day he doesnt have to. Any person in their right mind has to run such an asset as a business, if the business is not making money, then it needs to close down, pure and simple. Your argument of using the cash to pay the bills is plain ridiculous - why invest extra money in a sinking ship?
The sad fact is that more and more these days Chairmen are running these clubs in the lower league as part of a love affair with the club. However as far as I can see this is a thankless task, as the negativity and lack of sound thinking with the fans can sour this kind of relationship, and everyone has a threshold.
I for one am deeply grateful to Mr Fenty for the piles of cash he has invested in keeping the Mariners going, a £10 cheque and a letter to Companies house and even you guys can see how he is losing money. If he leaves, we're screwed - pure and simple. GTFC leak cash, they have an old stadium with enormous bills, a team and staff to pay wages to, receive little TV money, and have an average gate of around 4000. No-one in their right mind is gonna take on a commitment like that, it's not worth anything.
So whilst the reminiscent rants of happiness at Grimsby being an average club in an average league... blah blah blah are great for filling space on the diary, but when you think about telling people these stories in a few years time, when the Mariners are an amateur outfit playing on sunday mornings, just think about how actually lending some support to the guy who practically subsidises our saturday afternoon football viewings might help.
from Paddy Grant
Letters Ed responds: Valid points Paddy, and would be interesting to hear the views of other fans. Whilst I don't personally doubt the commitment and intentions of Mr Fenty, a bit more transparency wouldn't go amiss. I've not seen the sustainability report on Blundell Park, so I can't comment on it. And it's still unclear who would own the new ground. If the club are renting it, we're just tenants. A risky situation. Also, presumably the owners would be the ones making money off the
Birds and boos
"WE ARE GRIMSBY, SUPER GRIMSBY, NO-ONE LIKES US, APART FROM 000s OF BIRDS, WE DON'T CARE!"
People do care about Golden Plover and I hope at least a few dedicated readers of your excellent website other than I do. The Humber Estuary and environs have some fantastic areas for huge numbers of several species of our feathered friends, just take some binoculars down Meggies front on a Winter's day and observe. As much as I adore our heroic warriors fighting on our behalf in black and white, there are slightly more important things than even more ugly buildings on the way into Grimsby.
Fenty's whinge about the ruling is based on ignorance and the fact he couldn't find a lawyer who could understand (can I say "too thick to" and not get sued?) the Conservation Regulations 1994. I should offer my services and I'll be a lot cheaper than Mr PlaysGolfWithFenty LLB, I can't stand golf mind. Fenty's ignorance smacks of the same decisions that swept away the bullring and most other buildings of any aesthetic merit in Grimsby in the 60s. These birds like Grimsby more than most humans do, we shouldn't ask why, we should be very pleased indeed.
Long live the Mighty Mariners!
Long live the 000s of Dunlin, Lapwing, Curlew, Shelduck and so on that are very fond of winter mud around Grimsby!
PS do you want me to discuss the in-and-outs of the Conservation (Natural Habitats, &c.) Regulations 1994 to your readers? It is very interesting to us professional conservationists you know...
from Jonathan Saville
Letters Ed responds: We'll skip on that last offer, if you don't mind Jon.
Future of the yoof
I tried to hook my eldest to Town from the age of 6, he had a season ticket when it was only £50. Unfortunately the last game he went to was the play off final in Cardiff. Now aged 13 he shows little or no interest in the Mariners despite mine and his grandads promptings. BMX and computer games have a hold of him now. Next in line is his brother aged 6 who has been once this season and enjoys wearing the black and white stripes... If I fail with him then no. 3 son is next, aged 3.
Letters Ed responds: It's the only way they'll grow up with any sense of balance, Rob. Keep up the good work.
Knowing your Al's from his elbow
All power to Al's elbow. One of the saddest things I've seen in football was the build up to an F.A. Cup match (Newcastle vs Stevenage) a few years ago. The local TV station showed a load of Stevenage locals sporting Newcastle shirts and deriding Stevenage's chances of winning. Are there now more Man Utd, Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool fans in Grimsby than there are Grimsby fans?
from Martyn Wyburn
Away fans pay as much as 'higher' home fans at Blundell Park, and that is much the practice throughout the division. 18 notes for a home fan is as your own web site states.
from Dave Chambers
Letters Ed responds: I think the point that the individual was trying to make though was that the charter makes reference to 'comparable' fan accomodation. The only place you actually pay £18 at BP is in the Upper Smiths - and the Osmond isn't comparable to that.
After the record run of draws earlier this year, are we on the verge of setting a new record?
What's the club's longest sequence of consecutive games in which both sides scored? If that's too difficult for you, what's the longest sequence in which neither team kept a clean sheet?
from Phil Watson
Letters Ed responds: Anyone?