Cod Almighty | Postbag
Postbag: don't be happy, be worried
14 September 2009
In the latest postbag our readers try to take the blame for Town's miserable start to the season, accuse us of designing lopsided lampposts and rake the coals over CA features new and old.
The postbag ... all human life is here. Write in and prove you are sentient.
Who's the Jonah in the morning suit?
Dear CA I believe that I am personally responsible for the current plight of GTFC. I have noticed that there is a direct inverse correlation between my own personal happiness and the success of GTFC.
The evidence, when I met my soon to be wife, GTFC were looking down at the world from their perch at the top of Division Two looking at promotion to the promised lands of Division One (the Pr... no I can't say it). Then my lonely drab existence of following GTFC and reviewing obscure music was transformed and the downward trajectory began. When we moved in together relegation followed, when we bought a house together another relegation followed, when we got engaged GTFC endured the worst season that any of us will remember.
As the wedding draws ever nearer the slump continues. We are getting married in three weeks which will either result in non-league football next season or if the caricatures about marriage are true, a gradual climb up through the leagues and European football in about seven years.
Apologies to all
from David Cowling
Letters Ed responds: I wouldn't worry, David: if Town's fortunes depended on Mariners being miserable, bookies would refuse to take bets on us. Good luck for the happy day (Town keeping a clean sheet, that is).
I'm not sure what inference we're meant to draw from the stats in the Port Vale factfile on goals conceded this season.
You report that of the 14 goals against in 6 games so far, 8 were conceded during Forecast's 4 games. So the disastrous loanee cost us a massive 2 goals a game, whereas with the superb regular custodian we conceded a measly 6 in 2 games so per game that's err........
Maybe you were being as sarcastic as me. Oh, damn you! That'd undermine my point.
from Chris Parrott
Letters Ed responds: Can anyone drum up any interest in the fact Town are yet to concede an odd number of goals in any game this season?
I felt compelled today to email in regards to the Grimmo dictionary which after being around for so long you must be quite tired of getting messages about.
Exiled out of Grimsby now for 4 years, I was constructing a text message to a fellow Grimsby expat, and without thinking included the word bezzing.
Bezzing - Meaning to move quickly, usually, although not limited to wheeled transport.
For example "You seen Andy? Yeah saw him bezzing round the boato on his BMX"
Letters Ed responds: My weariness with the Grimmo dictionary may have betrayed me a fortnight ago, but that's because, having been exiled out of Grimsby some 20 years before I was born, I'm in no position to contribute (A certain measure of scepticism about some contributions crept in when someone suggested that "Mitching" for playing truant was specific to NE Lincs. The term was widely used in Wales in the early 1970s). The CA team are considering alternative ways to preserve Grimmo vocabulary,
Who's stupid idea was it to erect those monstrous leaning lighting posts in top town Victoria Street? These hideous posts which are supposed to resemble masts from fishing vessels. In my opinion they resemble posts that have been hit by some driver backing out their car after a good skin full in the Pestle and Mortar on a Friday night.
PS.....Correct me if I am mistaken unless an Irish navvie forgot is spirit level that day????
from Ken Coulbeck
Letters Ed responds: Don't look at me ... I neither design lampposts nor drive ... what? Why are you getting at me like this?
I'm certain my mind isn't playing tricks with me here! Judging by the others listed here, it certainly wasn't; I`m delighted to see that Darren Mansaram's effort versus Preston is mentioned so I'm going to nominate the player he effectively replaced, albeit several years later, Keith Alexander.
You must bear in mind I would have been approximately 11 years old at this stage but I am certain that big Keith beat three York players in front of the Findus stand then lashed the ball into the top corner from 30 yards 1989ish(???) - even at the time this seemed almost impossible to believe so it seems even more unlikely now. I`m also certain Andy Tillson was knocked out heading in the first goal that day - I think Town won 3-0.
Not sure if I also missed out on a Groves goal at Wolves (1995ish???) easily as good as Cockers vs Huddersfield for a team goal.
from Simon Dolan
Letters Ed responds: On 3 February 1990, Town beat York 3-0, with Tillson and Alexander among the scorers (the other was Rees), so strike one to you. Groves scored in all but one of our matches with Wolves in the 1994-95 and 1995-96 seasons (no wonder the Baggies wanted him), so one of them could well have been decent.
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this postbag, email firstname.lastname@example.org.