Saturday 5 August
Friday 18 August
Tuesday 22 August
Crewe Alexandra (League Cup)
Friday 1 September
Saturday 9 September
Saturday 23 September
Tuesday 26 September
Sunday 8 October
Saturday 21 October
Saturday 4 November
Saturday 25 November
Saturday 9 December
Friday 22 December
GTFC have very sensibly rescheduled the forthcoming home game against Mansfield to avoid a clash with the Family Fun Day at Cleethorpes Boating Lake. This decision gives us a timely reminder that there is a whole world of activities out there for those wishing to avoid watching football matches. So if you're looking for better things to do than attend Blundell Park in the first half of the season, look no further than Cod Almighty's handy What's On guide.
Using the list to the left, simply click on the home fixture you can't be arsed to go to, or just scroll down through the guide at your leisure. Then choose from the great variety of alternative entertainments on offer - and watch Town's attendance figures plummet!
Saturday 5 August (Boston United)
- Rally Isle of Man 3. One hundred and eighty Stage Miles on some of the fastest tarmac in the world. Isle of Man.
- Conservative Future Working Life Training Conference. Designed to equip Working Life members to become stronger activists, gain guidance on local issue campaigning and learn how community projects can make a real difference to the Conservative Party. Above all else it is a great opportunity to meet other activists involved in the Party. Burleigh Court Hotel, Loughborough. £140.
- The Tempest. RSC production of Shakespeare's final play, one of two in which the Bard generally abides by the prescribed unities of classical drama (the other being The Comedy of Errors). Starring Patrick Stewart. Royal Shakespeare Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwicks.
- Andrew Dewar. Recital by winner of the 2005 St Albans Organ Festival. Windsor Castle, Windsor.
- Adelaide Crows v Collingwood. Round 18 of the Aussie Rules season. AAMI Stadium, 105 West Lakes Boulevard, West Lakes, South Australia 5021.
- Phil Collins: they shoot horses. Film showing a disco dance marathon produced in Ramallah with a group of young Palestinians. The work's title is taken from a 1935 novel by Horace McCoy and its film adaptation directed by
Sydney Pollack. Tate Britain, Millbank, London SW1P 4RG.
- Great Vespers. Traditional first service of the Daily Cycle of divine services celebrated in the Orthodox Church. St Aethelheard's, Louth. 4pm.
- Introduction to Election Observation. Will encourage observers' ability to work as part of a team and deal with the challenges of a mission environment. Peaceworkers UK, 18a Victoria Park Square, London E2 9PB. £125 (£90 "early-bird" discount/ £70 students, unemployed, or senior citizens).
- Oswestry Show. As well as the normal agricultural offerings there's also plenty of entertainment for all the family, from events on the village green to trade stalls, displays, exhibitions, and more. Oswestry Show Ground, Oswestry.
- Speaker's Corner. Come down and study art, then voice your response and share it: MC it, rap it, sing it, put it in a poem, vocalise it! Tate Modern, Bankside, London SE1 9TG. Free, booking required. 4pm–8pm.
- Fifth One Day International. Zimbabwe v Bangladesh. Harare, Zimbabwe.
- Act like an Egyptian. With Amy Allen. Come and meet an ancient Egyptian and hear her story. Take the opportunity to ask the questions you have always wanted to ask about life in ancient Egypt! Petrie Museum, University College London.
- Viva! Incredible Veggie Roadshow. Taste a whole range of veggie foods from international dishes you can whizz up at home to ready-to-go convenience foods. Grand Theatre, Singleton Street, Swansea. 10:30am–4:30pm. Admission free.
- World Orienteering Championships 2006. Final day. Aarhus, Denmark.
- Whitstable Carnival. Whitstable.
Friday 18 August (Mansfield Town)
- Children's Holiday Workshop. Woolsthorpe Manor, 23 Newton Way, Woolsthorpe-by-Colsterworth,
nr Grantham, Lincolnshire NG33 5NR.
- Venetian Treasures. Gallery talk by H Williams. British Museum, Great
Russell Street, London, WC1B 3DG. 1:15pm. Free admission.
- Philip Paul. Organ recital, York Central Methodist Church. 8pm. £5,
- Juicy Fruits! Monthly 5 Rhythms movement/dance drop-in class. Welcomes
everyone who respects diverse sexuality and wants to dance. Covent Garden, London.
Tuesday 22 August (Crewe Alexandra, League Cup)
- Antique & Fine Art Sale. Marlborough Saleroom, Marlborough, Wiltshire. 8:30-10:00. Storage charges apply to furniture (and other items at the discretion of the saleroom) that are not collected post-sale within the timeframe specified by the saleroom.
- Jack Gibbons plays Rhapsody in Blue. Oxford Playhouse. Tickets £16 (limited concessions available). Book now.
- East Fife Area Development Committee meeting. Planning and development within the East Fife Area. County Hall, Cupar. 2pm.
- International Congress of Mathematicians. Opening day. A major scientific event, bringing together mathematicians from all over the world, and demonstrating the vital role that mathematics plays in our society. Madrid, Spain. More information
- European Congress for Conservation Biology. With world-leading plenary speakers, over 850 abstracts submitted, 17 symposia and a good range of workshops and training sessions, the Congress promises to be one of the largest-ever gatherings of conservation biologists. Eger, Hungary.
- Rhythms of Peace Festival. Final day. A chance to meet, dance, chill, inspire, learn and teach each other as one unified, diverse, and divine family where seeds of peace will be cultivated to spread back to homelands, creating a flower of life that will shift our global paradigm towards universal harmony. Atlantic Coast, Morocco.
- Eureka Week. Day two of the week-long programme designed to introduced Erasmus students to Rotterdam. Today: faculty excursions, sightseeing tour, dinner and 'night of the Songs'. Rotterdam, Netherlands.
Friday 1 September (Macclesfield Town)
- Manx Grand Prix. Final day. Features modern and classic bikes from 125cc to 1000cc racing around the 37 and three-quarter mile Snaefell Mountain Course otherwise used by everyday traffic. Isle of Man.
- Collectors vinyl record sale. Fisher Hall, Guildhall Place, Cambridge CB2 3QQ (opposite the Soul Tree). Various records for sale from the 1950s to
1980s. Albums and singles for sale including picture discs and 7" singles. 10am–5pm, admission free.
- Bobbie Trap + The Boneheads. Viewfield Hotel, 1 Viewfield Road, Arbroath (01241 871572). 8pm, advance tickets £5.
- Towards Global Access to Health. Conference. Geneva Forum 2006, Centre International de Conférences de Genève, Geneva, Switzerland.
- Wigan Warriors v Bradford Bulls. Coach Brian Noble's Wigan side host the team he suddenly quit earlier this season, as they seek to escape relegation. JJB Stadium, Wigan, Lancashire. Ticket hotline 0870 1122552. More information
- Libya's main national holiday, Revolution Day. Visit the north African nation to fully experience this celebration. Regular flights to Tripoli with Lufthansa. More information for tourists
- T.Rextasy. The T-Rex tribute band play Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road, Southsea, Portsmouth. Tel (02392) 863911 for more information.
- TMSA Kirriemuir Festival of Music and Song. Kirriemuir, Scotland. More information
- BunkFest. A festival of Steam, Music and Dance starting 1 September 2006 and running to 3 September 2006. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for further details.
- The annual "Cruise-In". Through downtown Boyne City, Michigan. Entertainment and Family Fun!! Prizes will be awarded for the best GM, Ford, and Mopar. Starts 7pm.
- The Cockburn Project play Ashville. More information
Saturday 9 September (Walsall)
- Spiral Scratch. The kids want to dance! Fat Tulips, Envelopes, Tilly and the Wall, Tiger Trap, Pipettes, The Research, The Long Blondes, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Acid House Kings, Bearsuit, Talulah Gosh, Architecture In Helsinki and more. Downstairs at Potion, Maple St, London W1. Guest DJs: Tara and Colm from Language of Flowers. 8pm-1am. Admission free. More information
- Easy Weight Loss! 9am-6pm, Ibis Hotel, London.
- Chemical Engineering Reunion. School of Chemical Engineering and Analytical
Science, University of Manchester.
- 3rd Annual Kill Spills Rally. Diesel spills represent a danger to all road users. The Kill Spills campaign is calling for simple education and enforcement steps to bring an end to this silent menace. Begins at the Ace Cafe at 11am.
- Christopher Harris. Organ recital. St Mary the Virgin Church, Brighton.
- Henley Show. The Household Cavalry Musical Ride will be the main attraction in Ring One this year. The Guards Division Corps of Drums Association will also be entertaining the crowds during the day. Other attractions at the Show will include a shearing demonstration – "Shearing Through the Ages", Llama display, four Rings of Show horse event, including the Area Trial for the King George V and Queen Elizabeth II Cup, while in Ring 5 there will be the ever-popular heavy horses. For the first time this year miniature horses will be competing in Ring 5. Other attractions at the Show will include the cattle lines, pygmy goats, poultry, cage birds and the very popular companion dog show. Once again there will be fierce competition in the ever-popular Produce Tent. There will be an interesting and varied Craft and Food & Wine Tents and Shopping Arcade and over 100 outside Trade Stands with many family attractions in the Village Green area. Greenlands Farm, Henley.
- 1st Joint Meeting of European National Societies of Immunology/16th European Congress of Immunology, Paris, France.
Saturday 23 September (Stockport County)
- Beacon coach excursion. A guided tour of commissioned contemporary artworks at some of Lincolnshire's hidden heritage sites including Bolingbroke Castle. Booking is essential. Book direct with the Beacon Art Project.
20th Century Rock Musicals. West End stars recreate hit songs and fantastic dance routines from top musicals including Rocky Horror, Jesus Christ Superstar, Blues Brothers, Hair and many more. Grimsby Auditorium, Cromwell Road, Grimsby DN31 2BH. CANCELLED
- Alford Silver Band. Tower Gardens, Skegness. 2pm to 4pm. Admission free.
- Big Jive Night. Stockport Town Hall.
- St Ives Festival. Danny Grinwood is on the piano and Merengada and Samba Kernow are the bands at the ball in the Guildhall.
- Special DayRail Excursion to Inverness & Speyside, hauled by heritage Deltic diesel 55 022 Royal Scots Grey. After a scenic train journey via Perth and through the passes of Killiecrankie and Drumochter, this special rail excursion offers a choice of destinations.
- Paranormal tour. Marwell Hall, Colden Common, Hampshire. Paranormal activity has been reported by many guests and staff that work in the hall. Phantom footsteps have been heard walking the corridors of the first floor. Objects have been moved in front of people's eyes in the attic area. One of the staff members returned to her locked room to find her belongings scattered all around. Dark shadows and unexplained reflections were seen in another room. The sounds of children have been heard in a corridor. A figure in a long black cloak was seen. A staff member regularly reported poltergeist activity in her office and lots more!!!
- National anti-war rally. Under Respect banner; theme "Time to go, don't attack Iran". Outside Labour Party Conference, G-MEX centre, Manchester.
- It's the Frome Cheese Show.
- Apple Day. Timperley Community Orchard.
- Ceilidh. Featuring bustling, bluesy Warwickshire five/six-piece combo Steamchicken. Balsall Common.
- THE FREE AND OPEN GORSEDD OF CAER ABIRI with King Arthur Pendragon at Avebury, Wiltshire. Meeting at and in the garden of the Red Lion. 12:30 for 1pm start.
- International Council for Exploration of the Sea annual science conference. Maastricht Exhibition and Conference Centre, Netherlands.
- 8th Conference on Limestone Hydrogeology. Neuchâtel, Switzerland.
- 3rd International Central Asian Exhibition of Household Appliances, Consumer Electronics and Houseware. Atakent Exhibition Centre, Almaty, Kazakhstan.
- Gourmet evening. Presented by André van Rensburg of Vergelegen at Bosman's Restaurant, Grande Roche Hotel, Relais & Chateaux 1, Plantasie Street, Paarl, South Africa. The gourmet experiences include an aperitif served from 7pm, a five-course gourmet dinner starting with amuse-bouche and specially selected wines to match each course, coffee and petit fours. R590 per person (R390 for the sommelier evening).
Tuesday 26 September (Hartlepool United)
- Starlight Express, Grimsby Auditorium, Cromwell Road, Grimsby DN31 2BH.
- European Day of Languages 2006. Celebrating linguistic diversity, plurilingualism, lifelong language learning. Assembly in the morning with 300 students. All pupils will be trying a new foreign language instead of French. At lunchtime pupils can try different European food and do various activities to win prizes. All classes in the school are taking part in a Euro quiz. Havelock School, Holyoake Road, Grimsby.
- Football & Networking. Watch a game and make some new contacts. Barking & Dagenham Chamber of Commerce, Barking & Dagenham, London.
- Auction. The Crump Collection of Cricket Memorabilia. Donnington Priory Salerooms, Donnington Priory, Donnington, Newbury, Berkshire RG14 2JE. 10am.
- The Leeds Orthopaedic Biomechanics Course. Second day of two. School of Mechanical Engineering, University of Leeds, Leeds LS2 9JT. £375.
- Peter Dyke. Organ recital. Hereford Cathedral, Hereford. 1:15pm–2pm. Admission free.
- London Spanish Film Festival. A selection of recent films from Spain, including several UK premieres and encounters with directors. Ciné lumière at the Institut Français, 17 Queensberry Place, London SW7 2DT.
- The Sad Tale of Richard Parker. New play from The Sarah Siddons Fan Club. Upper floor, Tudor Merchants Hall, Southampton. Doors open 7pm, performance commences 7:30pm. Regretfully the upper floor of the Tudor Merchants Hall is only accessible by stairs. If stairs are a problem the play will also be performed at Peartree Church, Peartree Green on 27 September, which may be more accessible for some people. £4 (includes a donation to Peartree Church Restoration Fund). Telephone 02380 715105 to book or for additional information.
- Site visit to Grand Arcade, Cambridge. Review and update of the exciting Grand Arcade shopping development with the Chartered Institute of Building. Meet at site office, 3rd floor, St Andrew's House, 59 St Andrew's Street, Cambridge, 6:30pm.
- Aquatech 2006. The place for you to meet water professionals from all over the world who wish to keep abreast of all the latest developments in the water market. Aquatech will as always provide the best possible surroundings in which to make new contacts and renew existing ones. Europa Complex (Halls 1–7), RAI Exhibition and Conference Centre, Amsterdam, Netherlands. 10am–6pm.
- Data on Demand: The Optimization of Clinical Data Management. Conference. Wyndham Franklin Plaza Hotel, 17th & Race, Philadelphia PA19103, USA.
Sunday 8 October (Hereford United)
- John Hegley. The singer, poet and stand-up appears at Brighton Dome Corn Exchange, Church Street, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1US. Phone: 01273 709709. 6.30pm. Tickets: £13.50 (£11.50 conc).
- Southend 10K Classic Road Race. Southchurch Park, Southend-on-Sea, Essex. 10.00am start for Fun Run and 10.30am start for 10K race. 10K Road Race and under 15s Fun Run. Contact David Lesley on 01702 715678.
- Buttermaking demonstration by local cheesemaker Judy King at Chipping Sodbury Farmers' Market, near the Clock Tower. Contact Jim Wilkie, 01454 321010.
- Panoramic Water Tower Walk from London Canal Museum. More information
- Autumn Countryside Celebration. Weald and Downland Open Air Museum, Chichester.
- Frankfurt Book Fair, the world's largest trade fair for books, multimedia and communications. Last year's event showcased 100,000 new editions and over 350,000 publications in all, which explains the continuing draw for the industry to this event. Frankfurt, Germany.
- Jersey Open Shore Bass Fishing Festival. More
- Prairie Festival – 30th anniversary of the Land Institute. Salina,
Saturday 21 October (Notts County)
- Eye Patch Day 2006. Fundraising campaign for Southampton-based charity
the Jubilee Sailing Trust. The Jubilee Sailing Trust aims to promote the integration
of able-bodied and physically disabled people through the adventure of tall
ship sailing. Their eyepatches are a symbol of all the mixed-ability crew that
have sailed with them in the past and those who will hopefully sail with them
in the future.
- Beer and Music Festival, Keighley and Worth Valley Railway. Expect
around 80 different real ales both on the trains and in Oxenhope Festival Bar.
Add in a wide range of music and dance and a tempting range of hot food and
snacks and you have the makings of another enjoyable and memorable event.
- Kevin Bloody Wilson. St David's Hall, Cardiff. Kev loves being on the road, and his uniquely Australian humour seems to translate faultlessly wherever he roams. (It seems a song about your grandfather's hard-on can be funny in any language!) Tel (029) 2087 8444 for more details.
- Magic - A Kind of Queen. Over the past 25 plus years Magic have built their reputation and following, performing material of great complexity both vocally and instrumentally to an incredibly high standard. Since 1993, Magic have dedicated a full concert to the music of Freddie Mercury and Queen. There is no attempt to emulate Queen visually in their concert, but rather to celebrate the music of one of the greatest bands of all time by performing it superbly, live, and better than anyone else, with the exception, perhaps, of the originals, Queen themselves! Book tickets
- Soul II Soul Sound System, @ Herbal. The Original Funki Dreds, JAZZIE B, AITCH, JAZZ E.Q, dash musical caution to the wind to play what they want to generate a good time having sensation and raise the dance-floor pressure. They'll be stirring up those extra funky beats to move your feet. With the simple purpose to "elevate your mind and free your Funkin' Soul", this is an adventure of musical exploration to discover a pure and pleasurable good time. 10-14 Kingsland Road, Shoreditch, London E2. 9pm-3am.
- Craft market. St Benedict's Square, Lincoln, Lincolnshire.
Saturday 4 November
- Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Mayflower Theatre, Southampton. Final performance. Starring H from Steps! Performances 2pm & 8pm. Ticket prices variable. "A superb piece of entertainment. I was thrilled" - Daily Mirror
- Centenary Fancy Dress Cabaret. An evening of old time and Scottish dancing. A fun and games night. No particular theme for fancy dress, let your imagination run wild. Collaroy Masonic Hall, Pittwater Rd, Collaroy (between Fraser and Ramsay St). 8pm-11:30pm. BYO supper, tea and coffee provided. Bookings are appreciated. Please ring Esther (secretary) on 9584 8053 or Margaret on 9982 4269.
- The Rooters. Live at the Jolly Abbott, Rugby. Loud and heavy classic rock.
- Greasepaint hair and make-up course. School of TV, Film Theatre & Fashion
Make-up, 143 Northfield Avenue, London W13 9QT. Tel: 020 8840 6000. £2,800+VAT.
- Choral Concert. Presented by the National Children's Choir of Australia. Venue is Robert Blackwood Hall, Monash University. For bookings and more information, phone +61 3 9905 1678.
- UCL QS World Grad School Exhibition. Further details can be obtained directly from the International Office at UCL. Istanbul, Turkey.
- Derby Day, Melbourne Races. Melbourne, Australia.
- Modernism Through a Lens: Revisioning Architectural Photography in Canada. Conference. Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
Saturday 25 November (Accrington Stanley)
- Charity Dance for Breakthrough. The Lawn in Lincoln, Union Road, Lincoln LN1 3BL. 8pm. Tickets £10.00 from Eileen Vasey (tel 01522 531887).
- Union of Shop, Distributive and Allied Workers (USDAW) north-west divisional conference, Hilton Hotel, Blackpool.
- Introduction to Instrumental and Vocal Teaching. One-day workshop, Chethams School of Music, Manchester, 10am–4pm.
- Meri Christmas by Harvey Virdi. This humorous and thought-provoking new play explores the shifting trends which have led to more and more Asian elders being removed from their families, culture and traditions to live in homes for the elderly. West Yorkshire Playhouse, Playhouse Square, Quarry Hill, Leeds LS2 7UP. £10.50–£15.
- Dundee Mountain Film Festival. Bonar Hall, University of Dundee, Park Place, Dundee, DD1 4HN. Four separate performances of the best films, presentations and speakers from the world of mountaineering and exploration. Speakers include John Dunn, North American explorer and photographer, and Chic Scott, Canadian climber. Tel 01382 730699.
- Molluscan Workshop. Hilbre House, Pembroke Road, Woking, Surrey GU22 7ED (tel 01483 761210). 10am–5pm. Those attending this workshop, run by the Conchological Society of Great Britain & Ireland, should bring a microscope and lamps, Petri dishes or other dishes for sorting purposes, a fine watercolour paintbrush (00), tweezers/forceps, dissecting tools, if possible an extension lead and/or double electric plug, books to help identification, and a packed lunch.
- InterFood Tajikistan 2006. 1st Tajikistan International Exhibition Food, Drinks, Packaging & Food Technology. Kohi-Borbad Congress Hall, Dushanbe, Tajikistan.
Saturday 9 December (Shrewsbury Town)
- Peter Pan. Grimsby Auditorium, Cromwell Road, Grimsby DN31 2BH.
- Save the Children Festival of Christmas, Wimborne, Dorset. Christmas
music and morris dancing in the morning, Grand Parade starts from Wimborne Market
at 2.15pm, goes around the town with Father Christmas ending in his grotto at
the Tourist Information Centre after the Parade. For more information please
call (01202) 883664.
- The Silver Ring Choir of Bath with Clare Teal. Bath Forum. Stalls £25,
- Burghley House Crafts for Christmas. Burghley House, Stamford, Lincolnshire,
- 17th International Manufacturing Machinery, Equipment, Materials and Services
Exhibitions. Jakarta International Expo, Kemayoran, Indonesia.
Friday 22 December (Torquay United)
- Peter Pan, Grimsby Auditorium, Cromwell Road, Grimsby DN31
- Glamd (70s tribute band), Cairndale Hotel & Leisure Club, English Street,
- Winter Wonderland. Programme of Christmas music for the family from
Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra with conductor Carl Davis. Philharmonic Hall,
Hope Street, Liverpool L1 9BP.
- Steeleye Span, Preston Guildhall, Lancaster Road, Preston PR1 1HT.
- IEEE International Conference on Data Mining. Hong Kong Conference
& Exhibition Centre. More information
Are you organising an event that might clash with one of the Mariners' home games? Send us the details. We'll advertise it here, and maybe GTFC will rearrange the match!