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Rough guide 2007
4 July 2007
Whu...? Uh? What? It's what? August... already? Sorry, I must have overslept. Time for what? Oh, come on – I'm fed up of doing the rough guide. And we don't need another one. What's that? We do need another one because there's bugger all news to report in the Diary and if we don't give people something to come to the site for they'll get out of the habit of visiting us altogether and won't come back when the new season begins, so I'll have to find some way of refreshing the format and drag my lazy arse out of bed pronto before you give it a massive kicking? Oh, alright then. Put the kettle on.
Right. Well, we can't exactly carry on with a format based on the assumption that we haven't clapped eyes on most of these teams for 20-odd years. But we do want to remind ourselves how they got on last season, who they've signed this summer and which of their shrugging no-mark journeymen are likely to delay the Mariners' inevitable clinching of automatic promotion in 2008. So for the 16 real clubs we faced in the fourth division last season and will face again in the fourth division next time, we'll do a little round-up of the above, and we'll leave it until the start of August so we can see who they've brought in and who they've shipped out. Assuming I can find enough people to write them, that is. Milk with no sugar please.
And there are, of course, six fresh faces amid the murk of the basement. Much has happened at Bradford, Brentford, Chesterfield and Rotherham since their paths and ours last crossed. And if you can stand before me now and claim an extensive knowledge of Morecambe or Dagenham based upon their previous matches against the Town, then you can sit right back down again, you bloody liar, until you've read the old-skool full-length rough guides to all six of the clubs that are new to the fourth division this season. No, let it brew for a bit longer, will you?
So will that do you? Twenty-two new club profiles, lovingly researched by the cream of writing talent available to one of the country's foremost and most widely acclaimed independent web-based fanzines? Good. Now... er, you made it with what? Tesco Basics decaffeinated tea bags, which were all we could afford at 69p for 40 because Cod Almighty is a non-profit-making website? I think I'll go back to bed...