Fixtures and results so far
Al Wilkinson's poems
Man of the match awards
Un-man of the match awards
What came before
Review previous campaigns covered by Cod Almighty
Saturday 7 November 2009
Football League (fourth division)
Holland (32), Edwards (52)
|Colgan; Wood, Linwood, Atkinson, Widdowson (Fuller 64); Bore (Jones 83), Boshell, Leary, Shahin; Akpa Akpro (North h/t), Conlon
||Robinson, Holland, Rollo, Simpson, Jombarti, Jones, Connolly, Hogg, Badman, Mohamed (Perrott 66), Edwards (Douglas 74)
|Subs not used
Clarke, Deane, Gray, Overton
|Subs not used
Browning, Coupe, Evans, Pelecaci, Perrin
Click here for an explanation of this post-match factfile
Sponsors' man of the match: no-one knows
Was there even a sponsor?
Cod Almighty man of the match: Jammal Shahin
Colgan seemed blameless; Atkinson and Wood were adequate; but by several leap years today's double points man of the match is Jammal Shahin, the local lad plucked from the Sunday leagues, shaming the idle, self-absorbed weaklings around him. He never stopped trying; he never stopped tricking and dinking lovely crosses for others to waste. He is absolved.
Our MoM awards so far this season
Cod Almighty un-man of the match: most of the team
YOU Danny North. YOU Peter Bore. Shame on you both. Local lads who trot and tut and wallow in self-pity have no place in Town. Grow up or go away – you are wasting our time. YOU Danny Boshell. YOU Michael Leary. Outplayed, out-thought and overrun by a couple of matey plumbers; you've plumbed the depths. Let's brick up the well when the moon is full. YOU Joe Widdowson; you're succeeding in the impossible, making us pine for the glory days of Tom Newey and Ronnie Bull, where occasional punts went near a team-mate.
The unmentioned ones were merely poor. Every good Mariner's five-star wish tonight is for these named and shamed wage takers to leave. Now.
Our un-MoM awards so far this season
Their gaffer says
"We had a chat after dinner last night and I told the players I really believed we could go and win, and that if they believed it too they would win.
"We also talked about how important it would be in the first 20 minutes to let Grimsby know they would be in a game because we thought psychologically that would really affect their confidence. I think we did that well, then we got the goal after half-an-hour and from that point on Grimsby were really struggling to put their game together; they lived on bits.
"It was only in the last 10 minutes they started to come on strong. We were tiring and you have to say that was the only time Grimsby's full-time training had an effect on the game. Until then I just thought we were the better side."
More from the Bath Chronicle
Our gaffer says
"We trained on Friday and that's as bright as I have seen them. But you have to be right for the games and, for whatever reason, we were not good enough individually.
"We have to assess what we have got and we have to start making some decisions. Ultimately we have to get some players who can do what we think they can do."
More from ITV.com
They had no fear; we have no loathing for them. They had no means of knowing this, but simply to turn up and move was all they needed to do. That's what they did. They were sufficiently motivated, disciplined and organised to fulfil the basic requirements of competitive football.
They looked a sub-Conference team: better than Brigg Town, and on a par with Gainsborough Trinity. They had no pace at all and were unhinged when any Townite decided to move beyond jogging. But that's our problem, not theirs, for one or two tricks with a wobbly defence were enough to unravel conceited, de-motivated professional hackers. They had enough savvy to sniff the lonesome, limping wildebeest in the breeze and have a little nibble when they fancied a snack.
Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?
There is no dark side for the Pontoon; as a matter of fact it's all dark. When the Town crowd applaud the opposition, it is a statement. There is no pain now. Town are receding. We're truly comfortably numb.
Official fig leaf warning
Mr P Quinn (Teesside)
The man who got smaller the closer he came, and he was exactly the same as in the Aldershot match. There is no need for further elaboration, no need to add or subtract from his one-eyed woefulness, so 2.011 again.
Barry Conlon's carbon footprint
60 miles at a murky misty 66.40 mpg and a surprising turkey breast.
In Stuart Douglas the hairy spirit of Ricky Otto lives on. Pull twice and a little bell rings downstairs. Tiffin will be ready shortly, m'lady.
Take the positive
For hound dogs who like nothing better than to rock 'n' roll there's an Elvis wig that fits most dogs (measuring not more than 28cm from ear to ear). Remember ears can go up as well as down.