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The one with the shirts
28 October 2003
Legs 11
You know how Argentina have retired the number 10 shirt as a tribute to Diego
Maradona... well have Town done a similar thing with Terry Cooke's number 11?
OR... are they trying to leave it free so next season Groves can regain the
number 11 shirt without anyone noticing? This may explain why Cooke never got
to wear the number 11 shirt on the pitch, or was that just because he was lazy
and shit? My head hurts.
Genius
via email
Mine too. [Letters Ed]

An omen?
David Duff? Wish your first name was
Damien, mate!
Glenn Bateman
via email

More pie choice
I think the lack of chicken balti pies at the club is a disgrace. There. Is that
better?
Phil Tolley
via email

Grimsby's rivals
You responded to my email asking who Grimsby's rivals - thanks...
much appreciated. You said they were: Hull, Lincoln and Scunthorpe.
Could you confirm the order that Grimsby fans hate these clubs please as
I am finding that some clubs hated others but the feeling is not
reciprocated (and then i shall never bother you again).
Mike Barton
via email
Well, when any of these clubs reaches our division then we'll consider them rivals. And the word 'hate' is a bit strong, fella. We look down on them and smile with pity on their endeavours, like you would a dog with three legs. [Letters Ed]

Happy clapper
You carried a letter a week or two ago accusing some Town fans of clapping nondescript,
or even positively poor play. It asked for the happy clappers to come forward.
I am probably a happy clapper. It comes about partly from wanting to
get behind the team, so you find yourself applauding, say, a defender
spinning away from an opponent, to make room to set up an attack. Delayed
reactions mean that it then appears as though you are clapping the
woefully misplaced pass that follows.
Travel back to 1997. A succession of 1-0 home defeats had left us on
the edge of a return to the old third divison. Some seventy five minutes
in, an anaemic, nervous performance had left us, sure enough, 1-0 down.
The team stirred themselves from their torpor. We put a few passes
together to set up the overlapping Kevin Jobling with a shot from the edge
of the penalty area. He missed by a couple of yards, but some of us,
nevertheless, clapped the move that led to the chance.
This enraged one fan, apparently emerging from the pub, as not much had
been heard from him up until then.
"Why are you applauding him for missing? Jobling - call that a shot, you
waste of space?"
He did indeed succeed in cowing us into silence for the rest of the
match, which, indeed, we lost 1-0.
Now that's what I call a true Mariner.
Pat Bell
via email

Factual error
Two quid for a programme? Two quid and fifty pence more like, oh master
of gurns.
Julian Barnes
via email
Although our Gurn Meister General has gone back and changed the page now he's
seen your letter. Thanks anyway though. Spotter's badge. [Letters Ed]

Common misconceptions
After the "Grimsby is not in Yorkshire" rant I thought I would add my
own little rant about peoples lack of knowledge of where/what
Lincolnshire is.
Take this common conversation I have in Manchester (being currently in
exile):
"Where you from?"
"Louth"
"Where's that?"
"Near Grimsby"
"Where's that?"
"Lincolnshire"
And in a total admission of pure uneducation the only answer any one
will give me is ...
"Flat there - innit."
Pah. I have lost the energy by now to even point out that while largely
being a flat county ... oh you get the point.
Anyone for darts?
Paul Wright
via email

UEFA smuefa
I don't know if you guys noticed but last week Southampton had to launch a new
kit. The reason for this was not the usual commercial men's attempt to cream
in more merchandising profit surprisingly. The reason in fact was that they
had been ordered too, by UEFA. It seems that there's a new UEFA directive meaning
that teams playing in European competitions from this season onwards can no
longer have stripes on the back of their shirts as it is deemed to "obstruct
the clear viewing of players' names and numbers".
Just something we Mariners fans need to bear in mind for when Grimsby Town qualify
for European competition, I think.
Bob Santich
via email

That's more like it. Good effort. Keep 'em coming though. You know how to do
it.
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