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Postbag: it goes up to 11
27 July 2005
Tis the season to take holidays - la la la la la la la la la. And that's exactly where I've been and am going
again. In the meantime, here's three weeks worth of postbags to entertain you through the boring pre-season preamble.
If you want to eventually see something on these pages that resembles
something you once wrote many weeks ago whilst bored at work, please send it to postbag@codalmighty.com and Jim'll fix it for you. And you.
And you. And - da de daaaaaa…

Lick my love pump
No, I'm not calling you 'Shirley'… but surely the piece about Shrewbury
Town should have had a mention of the bass player in Spinal Tap? Didn't he wear a Shrewbury
Town shirt in the film?
Ian Jackson
Via email
Ah… but we did that reference last
season. [Letters Ed]

Intravenus De Milo
Do any of your letters ever come via post?
Miss B
Via email
None. Never. Ever. And I know what your next question is going to be. [Letters Ed]

Shark sandwich
Still nothing to add regarding footy, but was interested to know how my
recipe for strawberry cheesecake goes down with the readers. This is not from the web, Delia or
anywhere else other than my own mind.
Take 50:50 mix of digestives and ginger nuts, crush 'em and add melted margerine/butter to produce
the crunchy base mix. Compact into the bottom of the tin and refrigerate so it can set hard. Meanwhile,
pulp your fresh strawberries and blend into cream cheese (smooth stuff, don't confuse with cottage
cheese).You might find an electric whisk is handy. Cool this mix a little and then smooth over the top
of the biscuit base. Cool again so it can set further.
Either serve it plain, or put a thin layer of dark chocolate over the top and allow to set for a tasty
crunch to the top surface.
I haven't tried it like… I have effectively dictated it Barbara Cartland stylie, so would be intrested to
know if it works. What's that you ask about quantities? OK, some biscuits, a bit of butter, tub of cream
cheese, bag of strawberries… easy this isn't it?
Ian Jackson
Via
email
Dear God - is it August yet? [Letters Ed]

Hell hole
Nickmariners, where abouts do you live? Maybe we should meet up on West India Quay for a swift
half.
Francis Gugally
Via email
How romantic… [Letters Ed]

The majesty of rock
Your rough guide to
Oxford neglects to mention that the delectable first lady of words, Susie Dent, lives in the city.
Tut, tut. She could take me in the dictionary corner any time.
Harry Wordsworth
Via email

Tonight I'm gonna rock ya tonight
Re: Posh Rough
Guide. This is one of the best summaries I have read about our predicament
from a supporter of another club. Most of them are on the lines of "Fry what a character he is". A lot
of Posh fans despise him for frittering away our youth policy and the tangible assets it produced
(Simon Davies, Matthew Etherington etc.); for selling or giving the ground to his property developer
mate; for insulting the fans; and for being without any doubt the most tactically inept buffoon ever to
be a league manager.
If Mark Wright had taken over at Christmas we would have stayed up, but then any inanimate
object you could name would have done better than the fat tosspot.
Eric Halibut
Via email
In summary: Barry Fry bad. [Letters Ed]

 | Letter
of the Week |
Bitch school
Having visited your dump of a ground and Town I find it hard to believe you
can give us such a slating.
Also the football you played at the Deva last season was almost indentical to ours. So take off those
fish
covered specs and look around before slagging off the greatest and richest city of the north.
Chester Til I Die
Via email
If it is the richest city of the north, can you ask them to pay a bit more money for your education so I
don't have to edit any other missives you may send in my direction. Tell them to start on punctuation
and spelling. [Letters Ed]

Listen to the (flower people)
So now the club are selling player's shirts
before they sign? It's merchandising gone mad!
Marnix Kolder
Via
email

Stonehenge
I have to take my hat off to those lads. Last night's commentary was a
breath of fresh air. Some of the comments were in turn hilarious and insightful. You could feel the
game through those boys, which is more
than can be said for the usual commentators.
How did they end up holding the mikes? And is this going to be a regular gig? I would get a
subscription to Mariners World if it was.
Dave Chambers
Via email
For those that don't know, Dave is referring to CA's Simon Wilson and Tony Butcher doing the
commentary for the Sheffield Wednesday match. They filled in as a favour to the club as there was
no-one else available. They may do more in the future if requested. [Letters Ed]

Gimme some money
Just thought that the Billy Turley fanclub may like to know that he
has moved on from outside of Woolies in Rushden, and was spotted between the sticks last night,
bawling at the Oxford United defenders, for it is there that he is now employed. Alas, he was unable
to prevent his side from losing 2-0 to Southern League Western Division side Brackley Town, despite
saving a penalty.
Scouting report for Grimsby game. McCleary was very quick on the left wing, and big centre-backs
Roget and Oldfield looked useful. The rest were rubbish!
Andy Lumbard
Via
email

Big bottom
Has Steve
Meek got an irrational fear of chives? I'm sure I saw him wandering about in a lab coat on our TV screens
in the early 90s...?
Paul Wright
Via email
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