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Postbag: insert letter here
7 September 2006
This week the postbag brings to you such diverse topics as sparklers, capitalism and old and young
Bristols. God help us all. Or me, at least. The rest of you can go to hell.
Please send your
random abuse, mental blatherings and other assorted nonsense to postbag@codalmighty.com. Ta.
Fixture mixture
So have you finally kow-towed to that weaselly lawyer from last season
in not putting up the full fixture list? Boo, sort it, etc.
Phil
Via email
I'm told that this will be sorted very soon. Right Si? Isn't that right, Si? Si? Didn't you say, ages ago
in fact, that you'd get it sorted, Si? Didn't you? Eh? [Letters Ed]
Whadda ya wan?
Where the heckedy heck do you drag a word like 'wan'
from? The dictionary I'm sure, but to have had that in your everyday lexicon is just weird.
Ian Jackson
Via email
Oh, and 'lexicon' is just fine isn't it. A day doesn't go by where I don't throw the word 'lexicon' in to
conversation with some random punter at the bus stop. "How's your lexicon, mate?" [Letters
Ed]
Statistical nonsense and meaningless garbage
Why are you lot still letting that
fool Andy Holt loose with his doom and gloom statistical nonsense? I thought you might have seen
sense and got shot of him in the summer. No-one wants to read his rubbish take on the season
through numbers. History means nothing. What possible influence can the 1920/21 season have on
the team now in 2006/07? Meaningless garbage!
I do like the Factfiles, by the way. A useful page every
week. Thank you.
Harry McSwegan
Via email
Well, if we don't keep him occupied with numbers, he starts pestering people to buy t-shirts. You
have been warned. [Letters Ed]
Ice skating
"Tony Butcher must be skating on thin ice by referring to Son Of Futch as
Fen Butcher. Hereafter he must be referred to as Bony Tutcher, which sounds WRONG."
Dan Humphreys must be skating on thin ice himself. I have never, ever referred to the son of his
father by that soubriquet bric-brat or nickname. Young Dan, who is known to be in the legal
profession, would do well to apply some of his work skills to his CA e-mailing. Check your facts
before you print, litigation is costly.
Tony Butcher
Via email
Big brother
Had much fun reading your
writing. However, must point out that The City are not our "elder" brother, but decidedly younger.
As for the rest....as you were!
Stafford
Via email
That's not what they told us. [Letters Ed]
Give us your money
Do I get a finder's fee for Cod Almighty's new reader?
Al Wilkinson
Via email
Look, poets are supposed to be poor and destitute. It just wouldn't seem right to break this trend.
Now get back to your cell. [Letters Ed]
Help the aged
What's happened to Moley Merkin? I miss
the rambling old sod.
Bob McSquirter
Via email
Law unto himself
On Saturday afternoon I tried to take away the bad taste of Gary
Jones being booed against Macclesfield by watching Sheffield v Retford United in the FA Cup. Imagine
my horror and surprise when I discovered
that Sheffield's star striker Rob Ward had been nabbed by Nicky Law's Buxton. If Law had shown
this sort of nous in the transfer market in 2004 then Town might still be enjoying the glory of third
division football.
Pete Green
Via email
Yeah, and we might still have Nicky Law as manager. [Letters Ed]
Rambling man
Well, so much for signing Jermaine McSporran, eh? What on earth was
that Chester newspaper on about? Still, it's a shame. I'd rather have McSpozza who's scored a few in
his time than some Premiership youth team striker who still looks like he's 14 and hasn't begun
shaving weekly yet.
We really need to do something though, don't we? With Reddy now out for a bit and Cohen still
knackered it's a bit much to expect Rankin and Jones to save us single-handedly. Especially since
Jones the Lump has been playing like Jones the Limp this season. Put the weight back on, Lump, it's
clearly what's wrong.
Speaking of pies, have you tasted them at Blundell Park yet this season? I don't know about what you
think, but they definitely seem to be different this year. A big improvement too. I had two on Friday
they were so nice. They were only spoilt by the performance. Brought a nasty taste to my mouth.
Sure, they played well at times, but were rubbish at others. Bring back the real Bolland. This cheap
knock-off version is a shameful imitation. Boshell impressed though. Maybe him and Harkins are the
key. But would Grezza drop Bolland? I doubt it. Seems to be a manager's favourite already isn't he?
Based on last year's form I can see why, but this year he's been worse than Stuart Campbell crossed
with Danny
Frank Jubilee
Via email
Crossed with Danny who? Come on... don't keep us on tenterhooks like this. [Letters
Ed]
 | Letter
of the Week |
Softly, softly, catchee monkey
I note from Ballpark Figures that one season where we had a lower points tally at this stage was
1997-98. As I recall, we drew several games and lost a couple before getting a win at Fulham that
owed a lot to defensive resilience and not much to creative flair. The pub I went to afterwards was
full of long Town faces saying how shit we were (that is, their mouths were saying that. No one had
actually tattooed it on their foreheads, although as it seems to be the fixed position for some
"supporters", they might just as well). I didn't see them seven months later to ask if it was still their
opinion.
Before anyone writes, I'm not making any analogies, but a bit of patience now and again would not go
amiss.
Pat Bell
Via email
Well said that man. [Letters Ed]
Cod Almighty in capitalist sell-out shocker
I must admit I admire the policy taken by your
website on advertisements. Imagine my surprise therefore to find adverts appearing in my email inbox
with a codalmighty theme! Surely this must be a rival site mocking you? or have you finally succumbed
to the power of capitalism?
Paul Wright
Via email
We've traced the offending e-mail to our over-zealous T-shirt vendor. He needs putting on a
leash, the filthy capitalist swine. Rest assured that your hardline communist postbag editor has
made amends for this error by burning all of the remaining T-shirts, along with any money made from
them. Andy Holt has been sent to the salt mines. [Letters Ed]
Money well spent
Town are going to get beat again at the weekend, aren't we? The
Mariners and Curtis Woodhouse both.
I've got a ticket for me and my missus to go along to the Grosvenor on Friday, just so we can watch
him get punched in the head a lot. £50 a pop though. It'll be worth every penny.
Billy
Bodshon
Via email
T-shirt too far
How long until you succumb and produce "Humberston isn't in
Cleethorpes" t-
shirts?
Ron Higson
Via email
Oh, don't go giving our T-shirt seller ideas. He's got himself into all sorts of scrapes already. [Letters
Ed]
Sparkling
The
Diary, or a correspondent of the Diary, asks 'how do you like beer served?' My preference is with
the tight white head, that is via a sparkler. OK, I'm from these parts and it is the 'culture'. However, I
am well travelled (been to London) and I can honestly say that the ritual of pulling beer is the reason
for my love of the sparkler.
With the sparkler the bar person has to have training, they need to use a certain finesse and they
need to know what they are doing. They also make you wait between one and five minutes before
topping the pint up and presenting the liquid for consumption. In this time delay, providing the pub isn't
busy, there is time for a chat and a discussion about the weather.
In London, where the sparkler isn't often employed, the bar person wallops out a flat pint full to the
brim in three pulls (about 10 seconds if you are lucky), swipes your cash without a word and leaves
you to it. No conversation, no interaction or any kind. This kind of bar person has not had training in
beer pulling or in social etiquette. So as a ritual of pub going, I go for the sparkler everytime. Taste
usually isn't impaired without it though.
You did ask.
Ian Jackson
Via email
A what? Eh? [Letters Ed]
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