1. "Who were the last five Grimsby-born players to play for the Mariners?"
2. "How many former Town players are currently playing in a higher division than the Mariners?"
3. "Who has scored the most goals for Grimsby Town in the 21st century?"
4. "Who were the last ten players to appear in goal for the Mariners?"
5. A daft name game
7. Two defenders, scoring, same game
8. Ex-players coming back to haunt us
28 February 2005
I guess it is time for another question. I'm tired, and rounding up the answers to the last question took a while so how about one with shorter answers this time? Hmmm... I know!
Who has scored the most goals for Grimsby Town in the 21st century? That's for league and cup games: none of that friendlies or reserve games nonsense. And if anyone is feeling really bored, how many goals has that player scored for Town since 1 January 2000? I suppose that could a bit of a tiebreaker, but surely only cheats could get it right? Prove the power of the mind over the internet search, my friends!
Goals glorious goals! Easy! Even Andy Parkinson can come up with a cracking effort now and again.
First entrant is last week's winner, Sue, claiming Jevons or Boulding. Well done Sue. Thats the equivalent to saying I bet a Republican or a Democrat wins the US Election. You have effectively disqualified yourself. Sue's email is intriguingly titled 'a boy named Sue'. Enough said.
Steve Young was a San Francisco 49ers quarterback when I was a kid. The same Steve Young perhaps? Maybe? His guess is Boulding 27. Do ex-American footballers follow the Mariners?
But now a revelation, a discovery that must mean drastic action, from Mike Shelton: "I cheated last week, can you ever forgive me?" Yes, you shall have points deducted and be forced to watch last season's 'highlights' video until you realise the error of your ways. We must sympathise with Mike. In describing his entry – Phil Jevons, 17 goals – he starts rambling about 'J to the Evons' in a fashion that must make him either in severe need of medical assistance or an ideal potential Guest Emergency Diarist for this site.....
Paul Thundercliffe's first attempt at my puzzles: Michael Boulding, 29. Concise. And. Brilliant.
Pat Bell asks another question that answers itself: "Are you trying to drive us to suicide?" He reckons that "depressingly large number of players have scored a depressingly small number of goals". But Pat, please don't blame me. 'Tis not I who has occupied the Mariners' creative engine room since 2000. It is not me who has been clueless, devoid of ideas, unable to pass the ball forward, and only worthy of non-league football. It was Bolder, it was Hamilton, it was others of that ilk. His guess Paul Groves (?!) with 20 goals.
Over to the statistics then to see whether it is Jevons, Boulding or Groves. The three figures who could have saved this club if they had devised a plan last summer to get around the Furneaux and financial situation. Perhaps all three could have played together and scored some goals and stopped us getting relegated. Grrr. But – wait! – a late injury time attempt at victory from Steve Draper who reckons Bradley Allen must have bagged a few in this period. Could this last gasp stab at goal net Steve the points?
Counting the goals is easy for players who joined us post-Millenium. Simple. Boulding's first spell provided 11 goals, his second spell yielded 17 goals. A total of 28.
Jevons weighs in with 21 in 50-odd games, a pretty good ratio, though not quite as good as his Yeovil stats.
Bradley Allen – he who vanished when we let him go. He pretty much equalled Jevvo with 20 in 50 or so games, BUT stupidly he scored seven goals before Christmas in the 1999-2000 season, a very unTown thing to to do, and is thus ruled out of contention.
Paul Groves is the tough one. Loads of Town goals in the Nineties. But he didn't score from January to May 2000. A midfielder that went months without scoring. A dangerous precedent was set. In 2000-01 he banged in four goals, '01-02 he smashed in a pair, and '02-03 he went and got himself an incredible three in a month and zero the rest of the time. Oh, '03-04, he also got three more but all for Sc**thorpe. So in conclusion, unlike midfield goal machines (relatively speaking) Stuart Campbell and Alan Pouton (a dozen goals each for Town this century in over 250 games between them) Grovesy failed to get double figures in the timescale set.
So Sue was right. It is between Boulding or Jevons. To be more accurate Sue, it's Boulding.
And in light of Sue's disqualification we have to unearth the winner. It's between Young and Thundercliffe, who each score 5 points for getting Boulding correct. Indeed it really is between them as one guessed 27, t'other guessed 29, and the answer I found was 28. So they can have 2 bonus points for getting close, but not quite there. Unless they were doing a Shelton... Hmmm. Maybe statistics questions are a no-go in the future. Cheats never prosper – Shelton, you drop 10 points for cheating.
Next question to follow soon. Maybe it will be something to do with foreign players at Blundell Park. Then again, maybe it won't.