Warning: may contain sarcasm
28 March 2006
Thirty-seven miles along the A46.
1) So, half time at Sincil Bank. What did Slade show the players?
a flip chart
an overhead projector
what the fuckity fucking fuck they should have fuckity been fucking doing, the FUCKERS!
his latest Tupperware offerings
2) How many minutes were there between Lincoln's opening and last goals of the first half?
3) Five goals scored isn't the record for a Lincoln side against Town. What is?
4) Over the past two seasons how many goals have been scored in the four Grimsby-Lincoln clashes?
5) In the nine games - or 810 minutes - since he signed for the Mariners, how many minutes in a Town shirt has it been for Marc Goodfellow?
6) In comparison, how many minutes has Andy Parkinson spent in the pitch over that same period?
7) And since he has appeared in nine games (remember, that's 810 minutes) since signed for Town, how many minutes has Junior Mendes spent on the pitch for Town?
8) Jamie Forrester, an ex-Mariner lest you forget, scored on Saturday. How many departed Town players have now scored against GTFC this season?
9) In which period of the game do Town concede the most goals, in this case 13?
10) And, finally, how many of the Arsenal players who featured against Town in the League Cup tie in November 2001 were in the Gunners' 'matchday squad' for their 2-0 home win against Juventus on Tuesday night?
That is the road to hell.