Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 1 January 2013

1 January 2013

This is 2013. Ring out the old, ring in the new, as George Harrison once sang so forgettably that everyone has conveniently forgotten his forgettable contribution to festive fun. This is your all-the-same Secret Diarist bringing you a bonus New Year's Day diary.

There are only 300 tickets left for new believers in the building. Wow, rock on Townies.

And the Impies are coming! Well, perhaps a few of them might if they can forget their Boxing Day blues. Don't worry Impies, it's impossible for us to forget. What with the impressive way Town imposed themselves, implying that Town may have the impetus for the continuous improvement to impale 'em again. Hey, we said may: Cod Almighty haven't counted chickens since that holiday job at Wold Farms in 1987. I once lost a whole crate of cauliflowers. No-one died, but Town got relegated two years later. I give you these facts and you still refuse to believe in astrology?

As the Boxing Day bludgeoning resonates throughout the flatlands and badlands of England's invisible county the more articulate Lincolnites have been reduced to madness, with talk of the Cookie Monster (aka the Squinting Drogba) having reduced their Barney Rubbles to a quivering rabble. There's even talk of Lincoln trying to play football. Someone, somewhere near the Brayford Pool may be drunk. It may also explain why only 387 of them will be bothered to dodge the increasing number of potholes on the A46 to watch history repeat itself. Hopefully.

Good news my fellow Grimbarians, Marshall the shoegazing shuffler has signed until the end of the season, so the chances of Louis Soares coming from Mars are a million to one, I say.

While you were out there dancing the year away, we were at home listening to Shorty pronounce upon many things, the gist of which is that Hannah's arrival depends on the vagaries of the Bantam injury list, but Town won't wait; Town have spoken with 'Ull about Devitt, but he's waiting to see if they pay him off completely, but Town won't wait; Fleetwood's new management want to look at Pond, but as Town have Simon Ford they won't wait; and Town asked Preston if they were keeping Elding, but we have to wait.

Keep those collective chins resolutely up - don't mention Anthony Elding around the shivering timbers of Olde Blundelle Parke.