Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 20 February 2016

Conference Premier

Halifax Town 4 Whitehouse (10), Bolton (25), Wroe (28), Hibbs (89)

Grimsby Town 2 Amond (87), Nolan (90)

Attendance: 3131 (1767 away fans)

New Kid in Town: Ryan Jennings

Template loan winger (small). See Chappell, Jordan (2015).

It is the law of the land that this section has to include words. There you are, some words. I cannot be prosecuted by the piscatorial passion police. But that doesn't apply to the employees of Grimsby Town, a football club.

Take your pick of the outfielders from anyone but Amond, Nolan and possibly Robertson. Them being a bit rubbish was way beyond the levels of competence and acceptable noodling from the others.

"In the end, what happens in both boxes determines games of football and certainly Halifax were very clinical and we were perhaps a bit toothless."

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Town kept us shape. Unfortunately that was a watery jelly in the shape of a rabbit.

The defence was rotten to the core, the midfield absent without heft, the attacking insipid and uninspired. Collectively they dissolved; individually they disappeared. Eleven men hiding in plain sight without the wit or personality to deal with adversity.

There's an argument to say we now see the Parslow Point.

There is no defence for the defence, who were playing in a parallel universe, quite literally mate. They trotted near the ball and shadowed blueboys at a respectful distance, in contrast to those pesky perky Faxers, who threw themselves at everything and hugged our hoodies close. It would be cruel to single out any one individual. It was a day when they all showed us what they couldn't do, why each one of them isn't playing in a higher league.

Utterly without character, devoid of soul.

A perfectly adequate team that is sensibly constructed, defensively organised and determined, while collectively committed to implement the manager's plans to keep their shape, hassle approaching stripes and flood forward on the break.

Their keeper is a right ropey flapper and they did struggle with one-touch ping-pong around the edge of the penalty area. They are now a beefy Wrexham and rugged Macclesfield – the sort of team that can give 'top' teams a slapping if they're not careful, but anyone with pretensions and personality will overcome.

A travesty if they get relegated, should finish mid-table with a solid base for happy days next season.

When can the glory fade? O the wild charges they made! I do wonder about the ignoble six hundred amongst us. The stands were full of rancour and insurrection as brittle bones of contention snapped.

Mr J Brooks (Leics)

Immensely fussy fusspot who refused to permit play to flow, to the chagrin of all in attendance, including the catering staff who had a fine selection of sauces to top off your sausages, by the way. The man in black was a clot who on another day would have had serious implications for road safety. At least he was consistent in his silliness: 5.001.

It was all far too indigestible to regurgitate. Please move away, do not tamper with the crime scene.

In a word: soulless