Cod Almighty | Diary

Sa seastán pontúin is muidne is fearr sa tír

17 March 2026

Ah, I can hear it now, floating over the Irish Sea:

“Suas na mairnéalaigh, suas na mairnéalaigh, beidh an corn buaite againn lá éigin”

It’s St Patrick’s Day meaning Daubney Diary is unavailable to stand in for the unavailable ChatGTFC Diary, but your Deviant Diary is available again to cobble together words in sentences vaguely connected to FACTS that are available on the internet.

Let's shock the world with what we know.

We know that now The Geezer from the Freezer has been called up by The Faroe Islands, Town can play at being a Big Boys Club and call off the Chesterfield and Cambridge games. Or the Chesterfield game only. Or only the Cambridge game. Or neither. So are Town going to actually invoke Da Law of Da Land or send a message to the world about our strength in depth? Yeah, we don’t need no internationals, we don’t need no ball control!

We interrupt this noodling nonsense for an Important Public Service Announcement: they're off, both of 'em! So it is official: we're Big Boys now! We'll be shaving next week and drinking pints of shandy.

Yeah, yeah and all that, let's get back to the pre-prepared mental wanderings so I can get back to work.

Clarke Oduor, who’d have thought it. Well, you heard it here first. I’m a believer even if you, yes you, thought The Closer getting called up would only be true in fairy tales. Or maybe the big story here is the realisation that we speak and the FA listens. Well, okay, the Kenyan FA. You've got to have a dream, if you don't have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true.

Well, what next? Nothing much for the next beautifully crafted paragraph of perfectly pitched prose is totally redundant. It's gone, it's history, it's outta here, it's baloney without the mayo. You'll never, ever get to reveal the riddles wrapped inside enigmatic references to the Monkees, Buddy Holly and Jesus Jones. It really doesn't matter anymore.

Ok, let's wrap this up. 

What a mess we made of Oldham. Quite literally if the secret filming of the Town dressing room is authenticated by Bellingcat. Well, the Mariners of Grimsby Town can redeem themselves after the Oldham muck up by cleaning out the Fancy Dans of Fleetwood Town, a club with no fans but a massive debt to their owner, who is definitely not convicted criminal Andy Pilling anymore. Oh no, it’s a company now owned by his son. No connection whatsoever. Nothing to see here. No-one is saying that their funding came directly from a fraud that resulted in their owner going to prison. Absolutely no-one m’lud. Accumulated losses of over £40m, with £43m owed to connected entities, and all it gets them is halfway up the stairs in the fourth division. Hey, that’s just where the data led.

You still here? The time has gone, this diary is over, I don’t have anything more to say. We’re at home, home again, it’s about time we wove some magic spells and re-stoked the fire.