Cod Almighty | Diary

Throw me a line, I'm sinking fast

3 September 2026

You surely are a truly gifted kid

But you're only as good as

the last great thing you did

And where've you been since then?

Your Guest Diarist often finds solace in the lyrics of Paddy McAloon but this stanza seems to me to sum up those teenage football talents who shone brightly enough to play multiple times for the England youth teams but who then somehow find themselves inexorably slipping down the greasy pole towards non-league football. The superb new official Grimsby Town club have heaved a lifebelt to one or two in recent seasons and offered them that second chance. Finlay (Fin!) Cartwright is not one of those. He may not be the prodigy that Chelsea thought they had unearthed three years ago but Middlesborough have kept faith with him after he made his debut at the tender age of 16 in a league cup game. This season, admittedly partially because of squad illness and ahead of expensive signings, Fin got on the first team pitch in quite a few pre-season friendlies. When his season long loan to the likes of Grimsby was announced he left soaked in a shower of do-well-come-back-soon messages from the Boro fans. They said he had played well enough to be a genuine contender. I can't wait to see him play.

Town have dropped a few points then. Yeah they could have won a couple more but they coulda lost'em too. At least they weren't settling for a point draws. I would much rather be part of Artell's Grimsby than Walsall who, as usual, have started like a train but will probably burn out again and flicker into mid-table ignominy. Or Salford for that matter. I love to see Salford flail. It is a lot better to draw a couple at the start of the season than in March or April. I was relieved to hear that our new strapping young Welshman had only gone down with cramp. Give the lad some pickle juice and he'll be right.

In the exact length of time between one heartbeat and the next my brain registered the awful realisation that Turi was about to make a massive mistake. The referee gave a penalty (he had no choice). I believe he pointed to the spot straight away - his arm just went a bit wonky. We were never getting away with that despite the possible earlier foul on our keeper. But, hey, I just watched the telly, read the excellent match report from our man on the spot.

Lastly, here is your early warning about the rising price of chips. My main crop potatoes, despite extensive irrigation pre the hosepipe ban, just stopped growing at eleven weeks. It turns out, despite them originating in the Americas, potatoes just hunker down if the temperature regularly tops 30 degrees. So I was watering a corpse. By Christmas I predict a bag of chips will cost you approaching a fiver. Still, it has been a great year for melons. See yer.