Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 28 May 2004

28 May 2004

So, the dreadful uncertainty is over. Only to be immediately replaced by the gnawing anxiety induced by the introduction of yet another new managerial face grinning at us from the front page of the official website. In a first interview with the enthusiastic, but grammatically challenged, OS team, newly appointed Town manager Russell Slade has made appropriate noises about being 'up for it': "We knew where we want to be, we knew where we want to go - between us we can make the club successful once more."

Sadly, the promised audio version of the interview does not exist at the time of writing. so your Guest Diarist is unable to verify whether our new manager actually talks in the strange language that bedevils the transcription. Or what he actually sounds like. Which is quite important to me. I instinctively hated Mr Law, but once I heard him I just knew that my gut reaction to dislike him had a sound base, and was not simply a result of my institutionalised prejudice against people who look like 'bruiser geezers'. Whomever Town appointed, he was going to be better than Law, who looked ugly, talked ugly, and tried to make the team play ugly football. We lost just as many games anyway, so what was the point? But what of our new man; what is he like? We've been asking around.

Steven Young, student at Newcastle Uni, Town fan and Cod Almighty reader, has a flatmate who supports the Seadogs. He wrote in yesterday to explain that the said Seadog was crying in to his cornflakes that afternoon on hearing the pre-announcement that Slade was off (thus also confirming the theory about when students rise - keep it up, chaps). The Seadog explained to Steven that our Russell was not only a saviour, but also a messiah, having assembled a decent squad on a shoestring, and then coached them to play attractive, passing football. Scarborough fans label him as a promising manager, he reports. So far, so good, don't you think?

Our man in Newcastle then goes on to expound at length about the hair ratio between previous Town managers and their assistants. This monograph can be summarised thus: if Slade and Rodger form a partnership they have a 50 per cent chance of being successful (both being balding). However, if Slade appoints a hairy number two then things look good (provided he's a redhead). Good work Steven, but the sample was a tad small on the bald:ginger premise, comprising just Buckley:Cockerill. I think we should take the one in two chance and hope that Rodger stays and that he and Slade emulate the successful balding twosome that was Buckley and Mann, rather than the gruesome twosome of Law and Rodger. Enough already, I hear you mutter, but thanks to Steven anyway. Good luck with those pesky exams.

Meanwhile the Diary received another email, this time reminiscing about Slade's time at Meadow Lane in the early nineties. Craig Oman reports that Slade had a decent spell as number two to Mick Walker in 1993, the side finishing eighth that year. His subsequent promotion to manager found him out of his depth, apparently, and Howard Kendall was brought in to rescue the situation. Which he didn't - Kendall and Slade were both sacked a couple of months later. Craig's County-supporting workmate remembers that Slade favoured a passing approach, but warns that his judgement might be suspect given that he loaned Tony Hackworth from County when manager at Scarborough. You get the strong feeling in the email that Mr Hackworth was not rated by the County fans. Thanks Craig, but, as you say, that was all a long time ago, and most managers make horrible mistakes early in their careers. Ask Adam Crozier for example.

Finally, I asked Cod Almighty match reporter Tony Butcher for an initial opinion on the appointment. Like me, his instinct is to think of prison, not pop, when the name Slade is mentioned. Tony goes on to say, in that endearing way of his: "I am unmoved by the impending appointment. I have no feelings of joy, but none of despair. Wait and see is the only rational conclusion here." I agree, Tony; let's give the chap a chance. I'm happier with someone promoted in to this position rather than 'demoted' (e.g. Lawrence) because he should be excited, and, like, err, dead keen. And, of course, he has big match experience in both the FA and Anglo-Italian cups...

Meanwhile some despair has crept in to the Grimsby world, with the sad but inevitable loss of Isiaiaiah Rankin. He's gone and signed a contract with Brentford. I'll miss him - he was a 'proper' striker. Any road, Mr Slade has compiled a list of players he is interested in signing, apparently. So we will duly bate our breath, kick our heels through this long football holiday, and expect the unexpected.

While I've been writing this drivel, the official site has confirmed three pre-season home friendlies at the end of July. A Tuesday home game versus Rotherham is followed on Saturday 24th by the visit of Scunny. Then on the Monday "the Mariners are set to play top European side Willem II at Blundell Park". That would be the mid-table Dutch side who got thumped 5-2 by Ajax in front of a 5,000 home crowd in their last match. Let's hope that Town are playing total football by then. See yer.