Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 28 June 2004

28 June 2004

Still no sign of these new forwards Russ keeps promising us, though Town's official website has, bizarrely, quoted out-of-contract Aldershot striker Tim Sills as saying he has been in talks with the Mariners - without itself passing comment on the player's claim. The quote originates from an interview in the Aldershot News & Mail in which Sills, who scored 20-odd for the Shots in the Conf last season, says: "Grimsby were interested in me but they wanted me to go up there and sign on the dotted line last week. I didn't want to do that and felt that I should hear from Aldershot first." After the Hampshire club's recent decision to go full-time, the player is uncertain whether to leave his day job as a marketing executive with the Tussaud's Group, but the recent example of Stuart Campbell surely proves not only that Town are willing to field part-timers but that the club could also put to good use Sills' expert knowledge of waxwork dummies.

If you like your herrings a touch on the scarlet side, let's go back to the OS, because today's official development is the prospect of a new midfielder within 24 hours. Putters-together of two and two are wondering whether the man might not be Northampton's Paul Trollope, who spent a month on loan at BP way back in 1996, and who is reported to be leaving Sixfields for another fourth-flight side.

Another former Town player who could be on his way back is Scarborough's Mark Quayle, who is similarly reputed to be jilting Slade's old side for some hot League loving, but in its best 'your guess is as good as mine' style, the official-but-wants-to-be-unofficial website again reports only that the player is "rumoured to be" on Russ's Big List. The Liverpool-born striker - but let's not hold that against him - failed to trouble the teamsheet during a brief spell with the Mariners in the late 1990s, although before leaving to score a load of goals in the Conference with four different clubs his exertions in the Mariners' reserves did once lead to the memorable Grimsby Telegraph headline Quayle hits bar.

And still another man who seems happy to revisit old ground is Richard Dawson, Lincolnshire's leading advocate for the practice of putting milk in the cup first when you make a cup of tea. Richard cites "the Newsnight email from Gavin Esler", which for reasons best known to itself features a quote on his pet topic from the former royal butler Paul Burrell: "Never put milk in your tea first: it's what common people do", which apparently "backs up my earlier assertion that the MIF/TIF debate all dates back to cheap crockery. I put it to you that the average Town fan would not want to emulate a prick like Burrell. Mend your ways, Mr Diary, or you may be judged to be a sycophant to the royal family." Well, Richard, the Diary's secret source in the house of Windsor insists that Her Maj in fact noisily slurps builders' tea of such strength as to almost melt the royal silver. We may very well wish her neck on the guillotine, but we can't fault Liz's nose for a good brew.

Finally, while we're laughing at Stuart Campbell, he says he was won over to sign for Bristol Rovers by the prospect of playing for Ian Atkins. Now let's laugh some more. Enjoy watching them balls a-whizzing by overhead, Stu.