Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 14 June 2004

14 June 2004

Today's Diary wonders whether a mathematical formula might be established to demonstrate a proportionate link between the prevalence of St George flags on cars and buildings and the number of arrests for public order offences following an England defeat.

Russell Slade's first new acquisition as Mariners boss is likely to be 30-year-old Wycombe midfielder Michael Simpson. Released, to the disapproval of many Chairboys fans, by Wanderers manager Tony Adams, the player once featured in the Notts County youth side managed by Slade and has been in talks with GTFC, reports the Bucks Free Press (a Home Counties newspaper rather than an operation to forge banknotes). Town's fellow bottom-flight clubs Bristol Rovers and Leyton Orient are also believed to be interested, but the Mariners' recent league record could prove decisive. "Grimsby are an ambitious club," believes Simpson. "It wasn't long ago they were in the first division and I think it could be a good move for me." Far from having been nicknamed Homer, the player won Wycombe's player of the year award in the 2002-03 season.

If Simpson joins the Blundell Park revolution he will become the eighth player on the books rather than the seventh, as Young Greg Young has just signed a new contract, but we don't know how long it is. Another name on Slade's long, long list of possibles appears to be that of Aldershot striker Tim Sills, who hit 21 goals in the Conference last season, but as with last week's Tony Hackworth scare story, any move for the player is at a considerably less advanced stage than is the case with Michael Simpson, like when the butter has melted into the milk when you're making scrambled egg, and you've just put the egg in and started to stir but it'll be another couple of minutes before it's done.

With a few Town fans having realised that the club will not now be given 300 squillion pounds by Lawrie McMenemy, Julie Peasgood or the bloke on their shift who got four numbers on the lottery the other week, John Fenty is increasingly having unreasonable expectations heaped on his shoulders and being seen as a sugar-daddy successor to Peter Furneaux as chairman. The local fish magnate has blotted his copybook, however, by speaking out in support of the breathtakingly stupid 'rebranding' of the Football League that will see Town kick off next season's campaign of fourth-tier football in something called Coca-Cola League Two. "Hopefully there will be serious benefits to this club as time goes on," Fenty has told the Grimsby Telegraph, presumably adding a word or two as to George Bush's impending admission to Mensa and the Pope's expected conversion to Protestantism.

Season ticket sales continue to go well, meanwhile, with Town's commercial manager Tony Richardson beaming: "It is great to have such a good response from the fans... Now we need the fans to continue their backing as we push for an immediate return to Division Two." A pity, then, that the mayor of North East Lincolnshire, Peter Barker, couldn't respond to the club's rallying call in the manner of his constituents, as this Grimsby Telegraph picture found by Mark Stilton demonstrates. "Nice to see the mayor showing his commitment to the town by wearing a... VILLA T-shirt," writes Mark. "Genius."