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Diary - Wednesday 14 July 2004

14 July 2004

In the short time Russell Slade has been manager of Grimsby Town Football Club he has already made up his mind about a few things. First, his team will play in a 3-4-3 formation. Second, Justin Whittle will play a pivotal role in it. Third, Iain Anderson won't. And this is why the Scottish midfielder is currently crossing the border more times than a pre-school child with poorly developed fine motor skills attempting to colour in a monochrome outline print of a picture by Gustav Klimt. His Mariners career began brightly last August (Anderson's, not Klimt's) only to be dragged down by the poor form of the team as a whole, and with Slade having made it clear that Anderson plays no part in his plans the player is looking for a move back home. After a fruitless trial with Dunfermline last week, Town's unwanted wideman is now training with his first club, Dundee, where he scored in yesterday's 2-1 defeat by Airdrie. So a year ago he was going to be playing below his level and now he's not right to help us out of Division Three. Such is the poignant career wreckage wrought by successive relegations, eh.

Another player with a 100 per cent relegation record during his time with the Mariners is of course the former Welsh international left-back Darren Barnard - and, like Anderson, he too began last season well and faded badly. Where he might fit in to Noddy's Christmas pudding formation is a mystery that ranks up there with Stonehenge, the Pyramids, and why Red Dwarf wasn't cancelled after the third series; but the GTFC boss has had a little chat with Dar-Bar and sent him away to think about what he's done. For now it remains anyone's guess whether the player will pen a new deal with Town, convert to a centre-forward, and end up as the bottom flight's top goalscorer, or just give in to peer pressure and sign for Bristol Rovers.

Hang on a minute! That's not Darren Barnard in the picture! Why, then, perhaps it is Millwall's Ronnie Bull - who, in becoming the 14th player currently on trial at Blundell Park, is in the running to replace him. A 23-year-old left-back, he spent most of last season on loan with Yeovil and Brentford, but in clattering Ruel Fox at the Hawthorns in 2001 so impressed Gary Megson that the West Brom manager was moved to remark: "Now that's how you make a fucking tackle." Bull is one of just three trialists named in the official website's "Likely Squad" to travel to Thursday's friendly at Brigg Town (the other two being Anthony Williams and Yannickanamanamanaman). I hear they do a good cake, or something.

Toronto Mariner James Booth has been checking out how the bookies rate Town's chances next season. "Apparently we're more stable now," writes Mr Booth in an email to the Diary, "so he does not fancy us for the Championship but does think we're good for the play-offs. Not sure how you define 'stable' based on this assessment." Well, after last season's farce of a debacle of a mockery, the Diary is never betting on GTFC again. Any chance you could pick up the new Hidden Cameras album for me on vinyl, though, James?

Finally, just when you'd forgotten it existed, let's hear it for BBC Humber's sport page, which, only five days after they were announced to the world, is now acknowledging the signings of Terry Fleming and Andy Parkinson. OK, so the story itself isn't actually on a BBC Humber page, which means it's taken them the best part of a week just to add a link to a page on the main BBC Sport site; but after a period of inactivity for the Humber site that makes Stuart Campbell look like a Tasmanian devil with ADHD the Diary feels that credit should be given where it's due.

Was you one of the lucky 1,000? I weren't.