Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 2 March 2011

2 March 2011

The millionaires in suits squabble and swap chairs, while the masses remain alienated and out in the cold. Vested interests abuse their power to prevent any danger of progress and improvement for the likes of you and me. But enough of Murdoch's takeover of BSkyB and the ConDems' squalid stitch-up of the referendum on the voting system. Your original/regular Diary is far more interested in yesterday's revelations from Blundell Park. And when I say 'far more interested', I mean 'weary beyond belief, and wishing I could just switch off, forget about the football completely and never have to think about it again'.

So what did we learn? First up, Deadly John (Topcon) and Mike Parker, despite owning almost all of Grimsby Town Football Club between them, have been prevented from making certain changes to the structure of the club by the other three directors. What these changes are, we don't really know, but we supporters are largely assuming that they would have been some sort of Good Thing or other. We like to believe there's always an option open to take up one of these Good Things, and that if the powers that be would only flick that switch, Town would be catapulted back up the leagues in the blink of an eye. Today it's the unspecified changes DJ(T) and MP wanted to make to the club. In 2004 it was the inclusion of Graham Hockless in the Mariners' starting XI. Before that it was Ivano Bonetti returning to Cleethorpes to buy the club. And so on.

This is not to defend the actions of the three remaining directors. Peter Furneaux. John Elsom. The other one. There's a nasty stink of self-preservation in the air here. But a second revelation was that, in the search for fresh investment, the directors had rifled through the Who's Who of obscenely wealthy Grimbarians and approached David Ross. The name of the Carphone Warehouse tycoon is another of those psychological crutches that we supporters sometimes grasp for in our desperation to believe that everything could be put right just like that. But it's also a name besmirched by financial scandal, seedy allegations of assault, and fat donations to the Tory party. Ross has not become involved with the club anyway, so it's all academic whether he'd limp through a fit and proper persons test. But his addition to the board would have had at least one positive effect: sitting next to Ross in the boardroom, Furneaux and his buddies would have looked like angels.

Parker, any road, has resigned from the board but reiterated his financial commitment to the club. He even says he wants to buy more shares, taking his total holding to the value of £1million. There is arguably an issue over whether his long-term plan is to oust Fenty as chairman or his Mr Nice Guy persona can be taken entirely at face value. But frankly, who cares? Parker has played this very, very cleverly indeed. The erstwhile vice-chairman recognises the supporters' need for a saviour waiting in the wings. So he's positioned himself shrewdly outside the continuing cycle of incompetence and decay that will continue to corrode the club while Fenty and the old guard are at the helm. His stock among the fans is sky-high, and now that he's disowned responsibility for any of the shockingly poor executive decision-making that blights the club, that's how it'll stay.

So is Parker weighing up a takeover bid? Has he retreated to regroup, and is he now looking for ways to return to the frontline and rout the directors by whom "my personal motives were being questioned"? Or will he sit tight and play a longer game? Dunno. We've still got our saviour waiting in the wings, though, so for every day that Town remain a non-League club, the pressure will build. And for all that, if any one of the suits in the boardroom can promise me there'll never be goal celebration music at Blundell Park again - and particularly the Fratellis - then they'll have my support forever.

Oh, and it looks like negotiations are under way to make Darlington's Mark Cooper the 419th Grimsby Town manager in ten years. Darlo want to keep him, so don't hold your breath. Like it matters anyway. Whoever gets the job will get the sack in November when Town are only seventh in the league or something.

Actual football news now. Town reserves notched a creditable 2-2 draw against Plucky Scunny yesterday, with goals from Sam Mulready and injury returnee Charles 'Charles' Ademeno. The account of the match on the Mariners' superb new official website doesn't mention where it happened, so you'll have to guess whether it was Blundell Park, Glanford Park, or a municipal park just outside Brigg.

Next Tuesday's game at Mansfield has been postponed because of the Nottinghamshire side's involvement in the FA Trophy. The postponement of league fixtures caused by FA Trophy games is an issue that recently exercised Luton manager Richard Money, who wants the competition revamped. Isn't it funny how, back when people like Richard Money used to be good enough to work in the Football League, they never used to complain about FA Cup games getting in the way?

A quick cleansing dip into the Diary's inbox now. Matt Pakes emailed ages ago, just after the last round of the FA Cup, and everyone ignored him. Sorry about that, Matt. This is what he said: "For some reason it was really satisfying to hear Crawley being talked down to whilst playing Man U. For them to be the 'big boys with the big money' of our league, to suddenly be the "plucky underdogs" gave me a warm feeling inside. Also, as much as I hate the tax-dodging bastard, it was also good to see them not get run over 7-0 and actually put up some sort of a fight. I mean, we even beat them at the start of the season? So that, with my logic, makes us as good as Manchester United." Indeed, Matt - by that same superior logic, which the Diary also uses whenever possible, the Mariners have actually won the World Cup outright four times.

Lastly today, Phil Watson says: "I followed the McMenemy link from yesterday's article and was very sorry indeed to see the news (news? It was published last year) about former captain Kevin Moore suffering from dementia and needing full-time care. I don't recall this being mentioned in CA at all - black mark for you there. For young 'uns: the Moore brothers played in the 80s Town team that was (in my opinion) the best I've seen in my 39 years of suffering as a Town follower. Kevin was the best of the three (Dave and Andy were the others) and would walk into my Best Town 11 - just imagine him and Handyside together at centre-back. Arguably he stayed here too long, and by the time he went to Southampton was perhaps past his best, but what a player. He's second only to Groves as an inspirational captain."

Thanks for pointing that out, Phil. Kev Moore was unquestionably one of the finest defenders I've seen in a Town shirt. Amid all Town's current underachievement and turmoil, it's a salutary thing to take a step back and remember one of the greats. So let's do that - and let's help by supporting this appeal if we can. T'ra for now.