Cod Almighty | Diary

Tonight we prove the world is not flat

10 November 2015

Yesterday's draw for the second round of the FA Cup gives us a home tie against Shrewsbury Town, currently 17th in the third flight. A few Town fans have ventured into social media to express disappointment, perhaps unaware that new rules requiring Manchester United (for being so unutterably dreary) and Chelsea (to give Jose Mourinho something valid to spin into a conspiracy theory) to play at this stage of the competition have not yet come into force. It'll stretch us, but it's winnable and we're at home. Shrews fans have got more to moan about than us. The match will be played some time around 5 December.

Tonight our attentions turn to Barrow. Cod Almighty's optimistic request for potential match reporters in the north-west apparently met with some success but mainly raised a hollow laugh. Middle-Aged Diary is keen to take in this match one day. My parents lived in Barrow before I was born and I'm always happy to at least pass within sight of the Lake District fells, but if the game isn't midweek, it coincides with rail engineering works. Barrow is too northern and too western to still be in the north-west. Like Grimsby, it needs some new point of the compass to describe it. We don't really belong on land at all. We are honorary areas of the Shipping Forecast.

Joining the Mariners for the trip to Holker Street is Alex Jones, a 21-year-old striker said to be quick and hard-working. So rumours he modelled his game on Barry Conlon have been rebutted. He has been signed from Birmingham on a month's loan and will be available for our FA Cup and FA Trophy matches. Jones joined the Blues from West Brom in the summer. He is yet to make a first-team appearance for either club but the fact he was offered a two-year contract suggests Birmingham see something in him.

Finally, a suggestion to those whose paid duties include getting answers out of Paul Hurst. Have you tried a sceptical silence? Imagine yourself to be Inspector Maigret, perhaps. Original/regular Diary's "oh" yesterday seems to have drawn him out on his objections to playing Andy Monkhouse up front. It might make us too direct, apparently. And there is no direct route to Barrow.