Cod Almighty | Diary

Only fools and horses

1 May 2024

Where are we?

In the close season.

What do you want? Information, you want information….you won't get it here then, well not anything new. The retained list came out of the closet yesterday and we won't detain you with too many musings on the many ex-Mariners now to be scattered across the fresh fields of the Bananarama.

Some no longer have a number, they are free men!

Oh all right then, if you insist on a deep analysis of the pros and cons of hitchhiking. Shrug. Meh. In a squad full of substitutes you need to keep some squad players to be substitutes. Now let's go and get some first teamers. But who?

The cat started to creep out of the bag last night as the Big Three were interrogated by Grimsby's version of the ITV World Cup panel for Mexico '70. Big Mal, Big Bob and Big Pat winkled out long and winding words, thoughts, hopes and intentions that lead many to the door of the European Market. Let's hope our imported livestock don't get held up in the biosecurity checks. Remember, if multiple types of footballers are imported by a business they have to pay £29 per product – and season tickets are still not going up!

How they gonna pay for all this?

Worry not for Big Mal, or was it Big Pat, got Petwood, or was it Stockitts, to reveal a World Exclusive, well exclusively in the world of Grimsby Town podcasts. Yes, as recommended ages ago by our in-house self-styled finance and business guru sitting there in his armour-plated chair, Town are going down the investment route through increasing the shareholding, unlike in those Fridge Magnet years with "benign" loans.

Ah, such sense and sensibility.

Oh, hang on, but who is this super new mysterious investor?

The bloke with the clipboard in the car park? No. Rosemary, the telephone operator? No. So who could it be?

Is it me, your mild-mannered Deviant Diary? I can exclusively reveal a WORLD EXCLUSIVE for Cod Almighty – as always blowing the doors off the story – that I am NOT increasing my shareholding. In a very Hurstian approach to finance, one's enough for me, Clive. If only I was following the data I'd be a millionaire this time next year Rodders.

The Fishy, like a cosy Sunday tea-time BBC dramady, has already fired up the Quattro and set off on some amateur sleuthing hypothesising about the source of more dosh for Big Dave. Que sera sera, we'll know soon enough, just relax into the snoozing season and wait for things to happen. You know you could help increase the pot by buying your season ticket. They're on sale right now, hurry while stocks last. Yes, it's open season for season tickets.

And so I throw the windows wide and call to you across the slightly dull skies of Lincolnshire…c'mon let's, let's stay together, whether times are good or bad, happy or sad. Go on, get that ticket to ride.