Cod Almighty | Diary

The Last Danny Rose of Summer

10 May 2024

Hello, all. BOTB diary here.

There’s a thread on The Fishy pointing out the correlation between long daylight hours and Town gaining points. There are a few people claiming this is due to various factors like better pitches, the powerful effect of vitamin D, our small number of Transylvanian internationals and so forth, but equally there are a lot saying that it is purely coincidence.

My own rather paranoid interpretation – that I am more of a grumpy old git when the days are shorter and Town are just determined to turn the screw – can probably safely be filed under ‘M’ for ‘Mad’.

I mention this merry contemplation just to illustrate how slim the pickings can be for even the keenest diarist during the white flowering days of May. Come to think of it, it is a shame we don’t play in May and June, really. We’d be invincible.

Which of course we aren’t. Although relieved Grimsby Town manager Our Tel spoke a mouthful when he told us that previous manager Paul Hurst had set the team up ‘not to lose,’ - something the sharper eyed Town fans had noticed some time ago. “It’s difficult to control the game from the back foot’ he told a passing journotype, or words to that effect, causing this particular diarist to nod like Piers Morgan when asked if he wants to interview the ghost of Adolf Hitler. The problem, of course, is that the other team want to control the game as well, and something has to give somewhere. My tactical deliberations, and years of experience of watching football at this level, has taught me that the best strategy is always to Put It In the Mixer.

Indeed, copies of my new book, Put It In The Mixer, a Guide to 21st Century Football Tactics, will be ready as soon as I finish it, which won’t take long.

BOTB – i.e. me – will be taking a possibly indefinite break from diary writing for personal reasons. I’ve been doing this for years and in that time the people who have said nice things about my writing outnumber the people who hate it by about 1.1 to 1, so thank you for your support and kindness. It was a privilege to write for such a fine, well regarded and long-established website, alongside people who can actually write for toffee. In the meantime rest assured, even though you won’t be able to read this shit again, on a personal level I will always be a Stripey Souled, Grimsby ‘til I Die, Maniac Mariner for the rest of my days.

UTFM.