Cod Almighty | Diary

Six of one, seven of the other

24 October 2024

Nurse! If you’re looking for your fortnightly dose of airy-fairy pseudo-philosophical shite, you’re in the right place. Or maybe not, it seems, for your West Yorkshire Diary has been able to catch some sleep recently — only for Town’s fourth consecutive victory on the road to leave me wondering if all this is, in fact, a dream.

What year is this? Who’s the president? We’ve hopped back on the bus with all three points from our trips to Cumbria, Kent, whatever county Salford’s in, and Merseyside. Saturdays, Tuesdays… time nor distance matter. The story goes: if you’ve got a good pitch, we’ll leave you there to kiss the ground, ‘cos we’re the famous Grimsby Town.

Will there be a twist in this season’s tale? Well, it’s all too early to tell. In fact, it’s impossible to guess what’ll happen next. Sue can show Daws and Tuffers Tuesday night’s highlights, and they wouldn't have a clue what kind of result or performance we'll put in this Saturday against Illegitimate Franchise Dirt (thanks go to the Fishy's swear filter for that).

We are the bookies’ nightmare. How do you price a side that has lost their previous two home games by an aggregate score of 1-7 but finds itself sitting seventh in the table with their tails up?

Town’s turf may be sodden and squishy, making our defence rather leaky, but we’ve still had some good times down at the BP this season — mainly against robins, bantams and ravens. We fare well against the birds, unless they happen to be blue. I’m not sure what Saturday’s opponents are (and I’m not talking about their nickname).

Six of one, half a dozen (and one) of another. We’re great! We’re poor. It’s working! It’s not working. It’s… okay. In fact, it’s not bad. As I’ve learnt, since becoming an exile, that expression carries a little more positive weight than non-Grimbarians typically give it. Half of our six defeats have been rather heavy, but with a win percentage of 53.846154 safely tucked away in Artell’s back pocket, who cares?

The mastermind who took Creepy Crawley down to Concrete City and broke Franchise hearts in the play-offs last season will soon find, now that he’s jumped ship, that the grass ain’t green and the results aren’t pretty. They’re a big stain of grey on the football landscape. No one wants them here. The fans are more plastic than the seats they can’t sell. It’s a perfect time for Town to turn in a complete Town performance and claim a victory for the town, and for football.

UTM!