Cod Almighty | Diary

Rochdale? CBA

21 July 2025

Miss Guest Diary writes: Is it really possible that I am feeling fed up with the new season before it even starts? I'm afraid so; it happened about 60 minutes into the game at Gainsborough. I had really been looking forward to getting my first glimpse of some of the new players, and the first half didn't disappoint – Town played with energy and created some chances, with Kabia a particular stand out. The second half started in similar style and then on 60 minutes – coinciding with the time Kabia was substituted – all the air went out of the game and I found myself with familiar feelings of disappointment and anti-climax. So much so that, despite having a ticket for the Rochdale game, I didn't make any effort to go.

The summer of new signings, new kits and new sponsors had really raised my hopes for the season, but actually seeing the team just reminded me of the fault lines which were papered over last season by some very good – often unexpected – wins on the road. I'm talking about the frailty of the defence at set pieces, Artell's preference for playing four at the back when he doesn't have reliable full-backs and the reliance on Danny Rose (apparently injured before we even start) to score goals. And the biggest mystery – why, when Artell claims to favour an attacking style and also claims that Town create lots of chances, do we score so few goals and does it often feel humdrum?

Given my ignorance of football tactics and strategy, I asked Deviant Dairy what he thought and this is his take on Artell:

“He sees things differently from you and I; Town dominate and create unbelievable chances he says. But he doesn't mean shots, he means that the pre-planned moves failed because someone, somewhere, made an errant pass on the halfway line – a pass before the pass before the shot. If everything had gone as he planned then that was a golden chance. If. If. Always if. The antiseptic academic approach extrapolates rather than entices and excites. It's the hyperbole of hypothesis."

When he had finished I said it reminded me of learning many years ago about contract law and the elements needed to create a binding contract. Please bear with me. For a contract to be binding there must be three elements: an offer, an acceptance and consideration (what the parties exchange). So if I offer to sell you something, you agree to buy it and pay me some money – that's a contract. However, it's not always that simple – goods displayed for sale in a supermarket do not count as 'an offer' but merely 'an invitation to treat' (i.e. to do business) – the offer is made when you put the goods in your basket, the acceptance when they are scanned at the checkout and the consideration is when you pay. Everything else is just a failed negotiation.

Putting this into footballing terms, the assist is the offer, the shot is the acceptance and the chance created (which to have any value must at least be on target) is the consideration which fulfills the contract of creating excitement. Regrettably, so many of the 'chances' claimed by Artell for his team have broken down so far from goal that they are merely invitations to do business which are going nowhere.

You can add all the tifos and goal music you like, but if the pattern of games at Blundell Park last season is repeated, then I would definitely say that the contract with season ticket holders needs some renegotiation.