Cod Almighty | Diary

All goalies do 'ave 'em

10 November 2025

Hello there. How are you feeling today? Is your points tally half full, half empty or do you see no point at all?

Your Deviant Diarist is officially mellow in this season of misses and fruitless trips to far off lands. We got a draw, you say, and a draw's as good as we could expect from that place of myths and blunder. Ah, but Big Dave says it feels like a defeat as dominance dissolved into a draw after Pym's flaws floored Town.

Yes that's right, we won Dusty Bin in Barrow, where the wheels sort of fell off a bit, in the end. Well, the stabilisers snapped.

We haven't got a report as no-one fancied a trudge over to the badlands of Barrow. All we have are the hints and accusations from those who dared, the whispers and clips from the trusty localised media and our cast-iron certainty that we can tell what happened anyway, and why. Town were diddled by the ref, for he didn't send off an opponent for…for…whatever. Whatever it was, it was a clear and obvious red card. Or two. You can't reasonably expect Town to win against eleven can you?

Can we avoid the heffalump in the six-yard box any longer? Previously peerless Pym© is now a calamity keeper© after three whoopsies in two games. And what whoopsies they were. With just Casper and Auton as alternative therapies we'd better close our eyes and ears and think of Grimsby, for with the transfer window jammed shut there really is no alternative but to support our local goalkeeper through this turmoil. Wish him luck, cross your fingers and toes; eat a dozen grapes and wear red underwear; and remember that for the Russians bird droppings are a sign of great things to come. Yep, that's it comrade, Pym dropping clangers is a surefire sign of promotion. You heard it here first. And last, probably.

Isn't it ironic that the only position that Town didn't use their data sticks for is the most critical position on the pitch. It's a stick to beat them with if you want, or maybe it's just a another data point on the continuous improvement plan.

On a totally diverting note CA awards 127 team points to The Lloyd Griffiths, a Diarist in darker days and now genial foil in BBC's Friday night generic Gen-X pleasing Return to Oz, or Sweet Bird of Paradise City, or whatever that goes-down-well-with-a-cup-of-tea-missus programme is called. Aw mate! Some magnificent elite pre-recorded pre-trolling of the Diaspora of the Desperate (i.e. a bunch of blokes doing a sub-continental shift) after launching his new catchphrase of "Oh, Grimsby Town colours" in a scene about a bunch of birds (and not in the Michael Caine sense). That'll get the Man U moaners frothing again, perhaps writing into Points of View, to register their fury at BBC bias. Is it still hosted by Barry Took?

You can blame him for Bootsie and Snudge, but hey, Bazza T knew his comedy onions and was responsible for bringing the Monty Python team together. You see he dropped the funny ball, but did pick it back up again.

What have we learned from this week's lesson? Where we're weak we need to tweak. Well, there you have it.