Cod Almighty | Diary

Psychic Supper's Ready

3 February 2026

And now the end is near, we've reached the final curtain on the most wonderful time of the football year – the January transfer window. They say it's a tough window, we're definitely tougher now having acquired an Albanian Assassin and the Cookie Monster in the January sales.

But yesterday? Not even a hint of sniff of anything going on, so your ever obedient and Deviant Diary was left scraping below the bottom of the bottom of Bottom of the Barrel Dairy's bottom barrel for something, anything vaguely monochromatic to prattle on about. We're here for a purpose and if there is nothing here, what is the purpose of this human brain generated slop?

The Big News, the only news, is that Cameron McJannet has been extended, which should be handy when we play Bromley. He then really would be one of the four tallest defenders, Dave. Wee Janet, from whose father my mate Brooksy's son bought the McJannet Family Mansion, will be among us for another year after the extension clause in his contract was triggered. What's another year? To the summer of 2027. We'll even update our World Leading Player Contracts page to make it really official. One day.

The Even Bigger News is that the non-football finance enhancement project marches on, with a mega-event that no-one saw coming. Yes, it's Psychic Supper with Simon. Simon who? Simon Goodfellow, of course. I'm hearing a voice in my head, Robert...Ronnie...Russell. Is there a Russell in the room?  Didn't you sign him in that mad promotion defeating January transfer window?

You know it would be so easy to dive in for cheap laughs. Rather than calling spirits forward, Psychic Si moves to greet the spirit standing beside their loved one in the audience, delivering messages with authenticity and compassion. And gravy. Well, it's the only way the traditional meal of pie, chips and peas will get authentically complimented. That advertorial very clearly does not mention gravy with the supper dish.

Late news from over the hills. Those fiendishly flying Imps have augmented their promotion push by signing… Kamil Conteh! Sell-on fee ahoy! Err, dunno. We're supposed to get 20% of any transfer fee but this is a loan deal. Still the lad's in demand and has 18 months left on his contract. There may be jam, just not yesterday. It certainly looks as though he isn't at Bristol to stay. Ironically, I will be staying in Bristol for their game against 'Grimbsy' Town.

Is that it? Well, we haven't got a match reporter for the Newport game, so we're open to offers. If you need more words to fill your lunch hour there's always Tricky Dickie D's warning from history and plea for the human factor. And the Youths of Today are playing tonight live and exclusive at Blundell Park in a cup quarter final. 

So we'll end with a whistle and end with a bang and all of us fit in our places.