Cod Almighty | Diary

$450 for Jousting Sticks? Tell him he's dreaming

23 August 2016

Wicklow Diary writes: I avoid the table when Town lose, especially after a week's worth of defeats. Furthermore, I wouldn't look at the table this early in the season unless we did something daft like go top as in 2001. However, yesterday I heard mention of "table-toppers Morecambe" and spent several confused minutes looking at our opening day result and the respective positions in the table. It's a funny old game Saint.

Hursty is still searching for reinforcements to assist in correcting the table. Stats in the Telegraph and by Ben Mayhew suggest that both Town and Morecambe are in a false position. However, with a week to go before the transfer window closes, you'd have to be a little worried about who he can bring in. The shelves must be almost empty and unlike the Conference, the league transfer windows stay shut.

Luckily, we have the 422 page SLR Consulting report on the stadium to take our minds off such matters. Have you read it? This is the future of your club so come on, hands up. No skimming, mind, every page?

I've read enough to think I can give my opinion. My caveated opinion. I don't live in Grimsby. I am not going to be living there in the foreseeable future. I've seen two away games this season but not yet been to Blundell Park. I average four home games a season with away trips being easier to travel to than GY. Locals could tell me to sod off and I'd probably agree with them. I would definitely understand. Here's that opinion regardless.

Why the fuss about the stadium project? Well, not everyone is lucky enough to be from somewhere as unique as Grimsby. If you're born in a sprawling city with a transient population your connection with that place may not be as strong. I lived for a time in Ruislip in West London. It's a nice area and it even has a lido. Lots of people have chosen to settle and have a family there. But I was never sure where it ended or began. There's Ruislip, Ruislip Manor, Ruislips South and West but no North or East. They are addresses that seem to have been assigned by the tube map and could be anywhere.

I'm not from anywhere. I'm from Grimsby. We don't just love the club, we love the town

With intentional irony, no disrespect to the likes of Ruislip but I'm not from just anywhere. I'm from Grimsby. We don't just love the club, we love the town. We're proud of what it is and where we come from. When it comes to a defining moment like the stadium project, it's OK to dream. Not just OK; it's imperative to dream.

Dream for a council that says hang on – let's create a masterpiece in the heart of the town that celebrates its history and honours 140 years of GTFC. An icon that draws people in seven days a week. That could regenerate and invigorate the town and our club. A plan that could help reverse years of awful planning decisions in the area. The scheme should be daunting and exciting and not bound by pragmatism and the 'real world'. Stop the real world, I want to get off when the prospect of a box on a bypass surrounded by houses emerges.

So give me a day or two to come to terms with shattered dreams and the thought of Peaks Parkway. Excitement for the dream the project could have been is in the process of being replaced by reality. Ever since the three little pigs, we've been taught that things shouldn’t necessarily be done on the basis of being the easiest solution. Peaks Parkway makes sense because of the money that others will make. A chance to define a legacy for a hundred years and it feels like we've been cornered into a proposal as grey and predictable as the bureaucracy that the stadium project has encountered for 20 years.

Any angst on my part isn't through some mad nostalgia. We all love BP. We can all also see it's falling apart. Modernising the Main Stand isn't going to happen without tearing it down; charm alone can't save it. It's sad that the romantic vision of a redeveloped BP or a red brick dockside colosseum may not happen but I could get over it and take the pragmatic view.

The gripe isn't necessarily with PP. If done properly, it doesn't have to be the end of the world. Far from it in fact. Wycombe and Colchester are fresh in the mind. Adams Park is in odd surroundings with the buffer of an industrial estate between it and civilisation but the ground itself was nice and had character. Colchester's stadium is a fine venue but again, the location was detached and surrounded by tarmac, wasteland and a McDonalds drive thru. If we can avoid these mistakes we might be alright.

My main problem with PP stems from a different source. I'm wary when property developers and vast sums of money get together. The club's initial survey was comically and suspiciously biased towards PP. If we have to condemn Blundell Park, so be it, but give the old gal a fair trial first. For example, can we have the houses and the facilities in Peaks Parkway and keep Blundell Park? To me, the club has had tunnel vision for Peaks Parkway without presenting a valid case for it compared to Blundell Park. The answers may be obvious to them but they should still be part of the exercise.

Once the dreams are gone, we are left with Peaks Parkway and a real world full of these questions. There's an impression of 'if we build it they will come'. I wonder if the Colchester staff were muttering bitterly that phrase as they looked at the empty closed stand behind the goal last week. Even with a warm sunny evening and an unbeaten team. When you see that, even the horrible proposal of the new stadium opening with just side stands starts to make sense.

Let's assume the purest of motives; even then, with the track record of bungling failure in recent years, can the club deliver on such a complicated project?

Who will own the stadium? If it's not us, can we afford the rent? Who will make money from the non-football activities? A 2,000-space car park plonked in the middle of a residential area. Surely this will lead to the same congestion on matchday that we see around Blundell Park. Who is the mystery 'backer' and how much negotiating strength will we have in the development?

The opening statement in the report declares we are broke and our wealthy backers aren't wealthy enough. The stadium will become the enabling development for the property developers and not the other way round. While we are thumbing through the catalogue of extras, the developer will be looking to maximise profit by delivering a centre circle and four sheds recycled from Glanford Park. Will any directors personally gain from the project? Let's assume the purest of motives; even then, with the track record of bungling failure in recent years, can the club deliver on such a complicated project?

Staying at BP and restructuring our budget to live within our means has been ruled out by the club. There are two menacing passages in the report giving the club three years until its demise if we don't move to Peaks Parkway.

The Club’s strongly held view is that without a move to an efficient and modern stadium the Club will cease to operate within 3 years... If ongoing support from some of the Club’s key shareholders was withdrawn, as has been suggested could well be the case, the likelihood is that this would lead to the demise of the Club and its activities.

SLR Consultants aren't just experts on planning, it would seem. They've ascertained from the club that in the case of our demise, the bank have us by the short and curlies with first charge over Blundell Park. This, in their view would make a 'Grimsby Phoenix FC' impossible. Supporters of John Fenty would say that's only fair; he can't prop up the club forever. Others might suggest that these threats sum up the ego of the man – a club that thrived for 125 years before he showed up would just lie down and die after he scorched the earth.

The report isn't all bad. The section proposing an expansion of the GTSET is encouraging and a fantastic initiative, regardless of the stadium location. The planned facilities would be impressive although another suspicion is the need for five full-size pitches attached to the stadium complex. That's a massive increase to the footprint and conveniently rules out development sites like Blundell Park, Freeman Street and Garth Lane.

Interestingly, the report contains historical correspondence from the club to various site landowners and agents. I'll give John Fenty credit – he has put time and effort into this project over many years. It is also apparent that he does on occasion use a proofreader and is capable of tactful, coherent communication. Why can't he do this with his normal club communications? He's got an opportunity to surprise us further with the success of this project. Maybe we've underestimated him. By believing that Grimsby Town will die if the project fails and he pulls the plug on the club, he's certainly underestimated us.