Cod Almighty | Diary

One day we will look look back at this and laugh

15 April 2026

I woke up this morning thinking I really didn't want to write this diary - mainly because everything I wanted to express was laden with expletives, and, as CA is the middle class battalion of the GTFC army, that would be rather off brand.

Last Wednesday I wrote the following; 

"One thing that has cost us this season is, of course, the "weedy side-footed penalty" which made an unwelcome reappearance in the Harrogate Horror, this time from the boot of Vintage Retro Veteran striker Sir Andrew Cook. Usually Jake Kasabian does the honours, which rather makes me wonder if it is club policy and Artells would give a severe dressing down to any penalty taker who kicks it harder than you would to a three-year old on your front lawn. If we get one against the Crewes I'd like to see Greeny Greeny have a go. I can't imagine him weedily side-footing anything, least of all an opposing midfielder."

Sadly Artell and the coaching staff didn't study my diary and take copious notes - they probably didn't even read it! - and the sacrifical side-footing lamb last night was Reece Staunton. In the 96th minute. In a massive game. To be honest we didn't deserve anything, looking flat of foot and tired all evening, and it wasn't even a penalty. Mind you we had an obvious one turned down earlier. Is that how football works? No? Oh. As soon as Reece stepped up we could guess what was going to happen anyway. He looked as confident as I do when asked to put up a shelf. Lots of senior pros were on that pitch as well. Was Reece the designated taker? I don't know. I need to know who to blame here. 

The upshot is that we are still hanging on in the play off race but by the skin of our teeth. Is there any skin on teeth? I'll think about that later. Gillingham away seems like a good chance of three points but Chesterfield are playing Fleetwood so there's nothing to be gained there. And, despite having a lovely holiday a couple of weeks ago, we look knackered. Cambridge, a bunch of ref-baiting bruisers, face us on Tuesday night and I've got a bad feeling about that. Then we face a bogey team managed by a nasty little weasel on Saturday. Season over I reckon. Then three points against Tranmere and everybody will go into the summer chirpy and optimistic and enthused about next year. After all, this will be our most successful season points wise, in the league, for some time, assuming we get another point. We beat Man Utd you know. On penalties. Gah. 

The trouble with football seasons is they are very long. When you're young and think yourself immortal, there's always next year and the year after. But the older lady or gentlemen might start to worry that time's a wastin'. Every missed ooportunity hurts a little more. 

Oh, what the hell. We're still in it. Funny things happen in football - though none happened at Chesterfield last night. Our support is magnificent. I watched last night's game with a heavy cold on the Khazakstan Completely Legal Pirate Football for Free Superchannel where the screen blacked out every five minutes and I still felt sorry for the supporters who travelled. With a following like that, ultimately, we will prevail. 

And at least we're not Oldham, who have messed up their playoff chances by losing to Shewsbury and Barrow in consecutive games. Schadenfreude. Sometimes, in football, it's all that remains.  

There. Well done me, I didn't swear once. And, no, teeth aren't supposed to have any skin on them. If yours have, seek dental advice immediately.