Cod Almighty | Diary

That's how it goes

16 April 2026

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died

We lost the biggest game of the season. Outplayed, outfought, stuffed. Town played a strongish team for the Lincs Cup Final, Boston played kids, reserves and a bloke who was hitch-hiking to the match made the bench. Oh yes we hit the bar etc, and I am sure if asked the manager would have said "on another day we win that match, it's as simple as that". But we fans don't live in that parallel universe do we? For the record Boston beat us three nil.

Earlier in the week your Guest Diarist found himself trapped at home all morning waiting for a parcel delivery. Britain's productivity figures show a steady stubborn decline. Maybe it is because millions of us are hanging about at home waiting for internet deliveries. I could have re-routed it to a collection point. But that would have meant a trip to the High street. And I don't want to give the High street false hope, although I do hear it is by far the best place to get your money laundered. Anyroad, whilst stuck inside I noticed a 45 minute walk in Weelsby Woods interview with Blind David Artell on the superb new official website so I thought I'd listen in as I did a spot of baking. After a few minutes smalltalk there was a quick musical interlude, an edit I thought. I am pretty sure this was caused by Mr Artell needing a wazz behind the tree. Zipped up, he carried on - saying the things he always says but even slower and at much greater length. The cheese scones went in the oven.

I won't bore you with the details of Artell's favourite Chinese or the film he watched the other night (it took him minutes to remember the name or who was in it). But there was one fascinating segment where our caring manager explained his hugging strategy. It would seem that Mr Artell is like a very experienced lady of the night offering the full range of services from pre-match baby cuddles, manly hugs right through to ultra-firm handshakes. The latter, he admitted, perfected after meeting Dave Moore.

Everyone, including me occasionally, has been raving about how good it is that the club has got lots of players contracted through next season. Which is great if they are good enough. But when the shape goes wonky, the passing stops and the form dissipates you wake up in the night and think shit we are stuck with this next season as well. I'm not going to dissect the bad showing on Tuesday, Tony Butcher did that here. But maybe Mr Artell needs to get a bit tougher with those underperforming, especially our wingers. And using our success in the penalty shoot-out is not a get out of jail free card in the midst of penaltygate. A bit tougher, just not quite to this extent though as Russell Slade hyperventilated and seethed 21 years ago today. See yer.