Cod Almighty | Diary
Raving and drooling
17 April 2026
We're all feeling a bit down this week, a bit deflated. We made that schoolboy error of getting our hopes up and now we're all living with that regret, meaning that no matter how many Crunchies your A46 Diary eats, the Friday feeling isn't quite kicking in. But it is Friday, so let's move on from Tuesday night. Yes, we were flat-footed, rigid-shaped, easily stopped. We all know that it happens and, sadly, it happened. Hopefully the rest did them good and they'll be firing on all cylinders tomorrow.
In the fast-paced world of League Two football clubs, constant news is needed to feed the beast of daily content. We celebrate, commemorate and reverberate, we announce, pronounce and denounce. We generally do all we can to keep ourselves relevant in an age of five-second attention spans. The club must do its part in maintaining the nation's scrolling.
As an interesting aside, did you know that content developers insisted on the swipe rather than the tap to avoid drool puddling on screens?
Our own drool was swiped into screen corners this week with quite the build-up to the Lincs Senior Cup Final. I don't remember the matchday graphics being employed quite so vigorously for such fixtures in the past? They even used imagery from the 2022 play-off final to promote it. Weird. If we'd won, were we going to have a parade? A mixture of youth and experience on the open-top bus, guzzling beers and throwing out trendy friendly hand gestures at the occasional dog walker? We must assume so. Otherwise, they'd have egg on their face when we inevitably lost 3-0 to Paul Hurst's Boston...
And the landslide of news continued with the introduction of this year's first-year scholars. A handsome bunch of yoots in ill-fitting suits. Neil Woods guaranteed their good behaviour if you fancy being a host family for them. And who wouldn't? I can't think of a finer use of a spare room.
The names have let us down this year. Very little in the way of modern-tongued nomenclatures that make the older farts among us chuckle and chunter to cover our jealous desire for younger knees. Cameron, Curtis, Harry, Joe, James... Come on, you're not trying hard enough. Wait, there's a Fortune Jack. Not bad. Not bad at all. Can't wait to see you on the score sheet, Fortune!
Gillingham tomorrow. Artell was his usual vague self regarding injuries. The only fresh news is that the Gilsenan's season is done and he joins Gardener and Tharme on early hols. The option of an extra year on his contract is in the club's favour, so we are in control of whether or not we get to have a look at him next season. Feels like another page turned. He'll leave, try again to kickstart his career, break down again, slide lower, have a good season, climb higher, break down again, climb again, and in seven years he'll pop up to score against us while playing on a game-by-game contract at Wigan Athletic. We wish him well.
Vernam may be ready to start a game. Get him on and get Kabia on the right. Khouri is out of his knee brace, but we're not sure why as DA hasn't spoken to the player or the physios. I know you're busy, Dave, but that feels like an oversight. McEachran is nearly back on the grass. Lavelle tweaked his knee against Boston but is okay. Svanthorsson wasn't mentioned. No news is good news? Fingers crossed.
The play-offs are no longer in our own hands, but we can still get 80 points from the season. Artell tells us he thinks we'll beat Bradford's total of 78 last season. The Bantams went up automatically with that tally. Even 80 won't be enough for that this year.
Tomorrow is much more important than we would like it to be. It feels like a banana skin. Gillingham have precisely 50 points, precisely one win in the last five and are going precisely nowhere. This is the game we need to defibrillate our play-off push and we're sure to overpower them with our superior desire and purpose. Right? On Wednesday morning, someone somewhere said that about an over-hyped game against Boston.
The home fixture was played against nine men. Andy Smith aside, they were not very good and made very poor decisions. We only managed one goal. So, a proper banana skin. But the Gills are there to be taken, so come on, Town, take them. Please? I'll buy everyone a Crunchie.