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Diary - Wednesday 5 May 2004

5 May 2004

In the same week that Julie Fleeting's outstanding hat-trick for Arsenal in the FA Cup final grabbed some overdue headlines for women's football, the Mariners' women's side has been doing its bit to prove they can match their blokey counterparts blow for blow. The Yorkshire and Humberside League Cup final, which they lost 3-2 to North Ferriby United, was enlivened by a serious blast of female fisticuffs, reports today's Sun (neglecting two of the crucial 'W's of journalism by not stating when or where the match took place). Not content with having kicked seven shades out of each other in a melée which followed the final whistle, the players then proceeded to lay into a number of unfortunate spectators. The Diary understands that the match programme carried player profiles of several members of the Town team who answered the question: "Which member of the Grimsby Town men's team do you most admire?" by saying: "Tony Crane."

Last time Town acquired a midfielder called Webb from Nottingham Forest, it didn't work out all that well, and so it is to be hoped fervently that Steven of that name, a 19-year-old kid registered with the Trentside club, tears up some trees where his predecessor failed to even trim the grass. The lad is set to appear for the Mariners' second string at Boston tonight, proclaims the club's official site, and "apparently acquitted himself very well against Svetoslav Todorov" in a reserve fixture against Portsmouth last week. Forest's OS reveals that young Webb's favourite films are Goodfellas and Pulp Fiction, his preferred form of nourishment is pizza, and his interests are "golf, music and socialising." He must have let himself down a bit on the hobbies; golf's not very popular around here.

Supporters traversing the breadth of England for the Mariners' final reckoning at Tranmere this Saturday can get there for just a tenner on one of the "discounted coaches" being organised by Bernard Morley from the old Grimsby Town Supporters Club. Yeah, a tenner! "We are also hoping to get some balloons available so that we can create a great atmosphere for the team," GTFC accounts manager Steve Wraith tells the Grimmo Tello, in a funny, high-pitched voice like you get from breathing helium. The club has sold almost 1,000 tickets already, so the Diary really hopes Mark Stilton has already sorted mine out for me, and fans wishing to book a place on the cheap buses are required to give the Bernster a bell (his number is given on Town's OS). It's all quite funny, really - I always thought Town's discounted coach was Nicky Law.

Speaking of whom, Pat Bell writes: "I'll add my name to the list of people responding by saying Nick Law probably won't be our manager if we're in Division Three." Diligent readers will glean from this, given that yesterday's Diary appealed for reasons why relegation might not be such a bad thing, that Pat is no admirer of Town's unhirsute managerial maestro. "Way back in the seventies," he adds, "I remember reading that Grimsby were one of comparatively few clubs that have played a league match against every other league team. A couple of successful decades and the advent of automatic promotion from the Conference put paid to that. In Divison Three, we can look forward, like glorified groundhoppers, to knocking Macclesfield, Kidderminster and Boston off our list." You see, readers? Every cloud, and all that. Mind you, I got absolutely drenched on the way back from the curry house last night. Silver lining, my arse.