Cod Almighty | Diary

Temperature's rising, the fever's still high

20 June 2022

One in, one out and the party never ends. Who's eating cold turkey sandwiches as we wait for the fixture list and plan our trip to Alfreton?

With Ben Fox on the run for some Cobblers, the revisionist historians amongst us now don't wanna know his name 'cause he don't look the same way to them the way he did before.

Oh behave, they offered loads more dosh and he's driving 80 miles less a day. Gentle Ben, our one year stand, is just thinking of the planet. Have you seen the price of petrol and the temperature in Toledo?

Our nextdoor neighbour had a brown Triumph Toledo. Well, it was 1974 at the time, and he always wore a hat when he drove it up the drive. He was a very reluctant ball returner, so I have no sympathy for his decapitated hydrangeas.

Where were we? Ah yes, for your Deviant Diarist Foxy Ben is just someone who played for Town, saving his best for the very last. Why should people believe in Ben, a transient, here today and, if I may say so, gone tomorrow box-to-box midfield dynamo with a terrible injury record? We'd rather keep Little Harry, wouldn't we?

In Hurst we now trust to sort it, whatever 'it' is. Players are ten-a-penny at this time of year, so best to walk the full length of the counter before selecting your sandwich.

And on Friday lunchtime the artist formerly known as Shorty eschewed his usual ham and cheese and pickle and picked a pastrami panini on his way out of the Kwik-E-Mart. We wave goodbye to Ben and say hello to dazzling Danilo Orsi-Dadomo. Get those posters printed and on sale now, pretty boy Dani is destined for a thousand teenage walls.

What do we know of The Baron Orsi? His soccermomming sojourn in the U S of A did wonders for his dental hygiene. Crikey! Stick on some shades, he's got teeth to match the Lloyds Griffiths' bestest mate, Scotch Egg Rob.

Marvellous at Maidenhead and tempted north, Dani boy only started three matches in the league for Harrogate, scoring one goal, and that a penalty to boot. As it was against Tragic Plucky Scunny does that even count? I think even Bottom of the Barrel Diary scored against TPS last season. The underwhelming Spa Town striking led to a loan with Boreham Wood and…two goals in 24 matches.

Data just gives you numbers, what did our eyes show us? Armed with only his wits and his cunning, one man recklessly defied gravity in an attempt to save Boreham Wood's play-off hopes. Let us turn to the official record of sideways glances at Grimsby life, Mr Tony Butcher:

"They seek him here, they seek him there, those Bores seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven or is he in hell, well that silly boy Orsi dived like Harry Pell. Even the ref was laughing."

Ah, OK, maybe Hursty will spin base metal into purest gold again. It's all about trust these days, remember. We'll just have to amuse ourselves with something else, and the Town Twitterati are having fun with an old Fab four. From Monaco to the East Marsh in six easy trolls and lols.

He's a man of the world, but it keeps us amused I'm sure.