Cod Almighty | Diary

Rugs are just carpets for cowards

17 June 2022

BOTB diary here, still surfing the promotion wave, my long blonde tresses waving in the gentle breeze of summer. Blue skies, fluffy clouds, all that shit. But not much news.

Something about Harry Clifton being approached by Forest Green Rovers, something about him preferring to sign a new contract here. Is this back fence tittle-tattle? Sometimes it's all the diarist has between him and a blank page.

Can I put in a good word for cricket? Those of you who followed the last test against New Zealand will know what an astonishing and surprising game it can be. I mean, I fully understand the football-only mentality, since it is no doubt the king of all the sports, and when people try and tell me that rugby isn't a pointless pile of fat men I have been known to laugh in their faces. But cricket is beautiful. If football is a Short Ride in a Fast Machine, cricket is a Shostakovitch symphony. Yes, minutes can go past without any real excitement but the overall shape of the game can produce climaxes of power and beauty. Give it a try. Incidentally, if anyone from the Cricketing Marketing Board is reading this, I'm cheap and available. Same goes for any male modelling agencies. Same goes for MacDonalds.

Those who are both Grimsby Town fans and fans of fantastic music are terribly excited that our lovely new signing Niall Maher shares the birth name of Johnny Marr, erstwhile Smiths' guitarist and indie hero. If you haven't read Marr's autobiography, Set the Boy Free, I urge you not to bother. It's awful. It sometimes seems like the formula for a successful band is an obnoxious but brilliant front man and a boring but talented guitarist. See also Pink Floyd, Smashing Pumpkins....um...Sex Pistols. Think of your own. This isn't Melody Maker.

Can I also point you in the direction of Tony Butcher's Let's Hear it for the Boys?’ A very fair and entertaining assessment of those players we have left behind on the ascent. Part one is online, part two will follow next week.

In the meantime, we are joint top of the fourth division and unlikely to be shifted for quite a few weeks. Enjoy it. Treat yourself to an ice cream. Don't worry about the diet, you look lovely. No, I'm not just saying that. You really do.