Cod Almighty | Diary

This'll show 'em

9 November 2022

If you have been around as long as Middle-Aged Diary, you may remember that back in the day there used to be adverts for LPs that no one could possibly want, except perhaps as a duty present for an elderly aunt: Richard Clayderman plays Mantovani; your favourite showtunes on kazoo; ... That kind of thing.

After the advert had, in the promoter's imagination, got your enthusiasm up to such a pitch that you were putting on your hat and scarf ready to go to the local Woolworth's, even though it was Saturday evening and you'd have to queue until 9.00 on Monday before it opened, they'd issue a cautionary message: "You won't find Bach by the Bee Gees in the shops. You can only buy it by ringing 0800 XXX YYY, and telling the switchboard operator that you need help."

Different times, the 1970s. Poorer in many ways, but at least if we played a competitive game against Manchester City, they sent along their first team.

Anyway, you won't find the information below on the official website, or at least not yet, perhaps because they have a surer grasp than me of what people actually want to read.

Over the weekend, our under-18s drew 2-2 with Fleetwood's in the Youth Alliance Cup, a competition in which we have played three matches and are third in our group of five. And next Tuesday they will play Crewe in the second round of the FA Youth Cup at Blundell Park.

What the official website tells you is that Jamie Bramwell's loan to Whitby Town has been extended by a month. What it doesn't is that last night Bramwell was "highly impressive" at the base of a midfield diamond against Warrington. That is in the opinion of the Guardian, no less. OK, the Warrington Guardian. Their reporter goes on, "Whitby is always a tough place to come regardless of form, particularly on a cold Tuesday night with the wind whipping up a storm."

It's lucky the fridge magnet is no longer in the building. Its not promising young footballers he'd be sending Whitby but a letter from the lawyers, warning them against breaching our intellectual property rights.

Farewell.