Cod Almighty | Diary

When Gulls Assist Goals

14 May 2025

The retained list has been published, rumours are beginning to bubble, and everyone is wondering where David and Jason are going this summer. Plenty of analysis and reflection has taken place, trophies have been awarded and players are physically, rather than metaphorically, on the beach. In this week’s VFTF diary we take a look at some of the quirky, or more comical happenings to occur during the 2024-25 season.

That trip to Iceland

Before a ball had even been kicked in the 2024/5 season, eagle-eyed fans clocked that David Artell had been to Iceland. As details emerged, we discovered that David had been with owner Jason Stockwood. The exact details of what happened will remain as hidden as the fishing trip in Gavin and Stacey, but as the outcome was the signing of Jason Daði Svanþórsson, we don’t need to know any more.

Grounding

Nope not the adolescent punishment dished out by parents, but the wellness practice involving direct contact with the Earth's surface, such as walking barefoot on grass or sand introduced to the squad by the aforementioned Ice Man. Apparently the connection with the Earth's electrical charge can have positive effects on the body, health, and mood. According to David Artell many players have now adopted it and are feeling the benefits.

The injury nobody had ever heard of, until now

Pubis symphysis. Yes, that’s right. In Town’s injury ravaged season who’d have thought that a condition most attributed to pregnant women would strike down not one, but two members of our strike force in Danny Rose and Justin Obikwu.

The twelfth man (or should that be bird)

Forget Denver’s twelve assists, or Greeny’s sublime pass to Danny Rose at Wimbledon. Surely the pass of the season goes to the seagull at home to Port Vale?

Faroe-cious journalism

In a slick piece of journalism, Radio Humberside’s Matt Dean secured an exclusive interview with Géza Dávid Turi prior to him signing for the club. Criticised and praised in equal measure, Matt’s interview gave an insight into Town’s future signing. Did it almost ruin the deal? Possibly. Does it matter now? Nope.

Artell-isms

Architects, milkmen and geography teachers were regulars in post-match interviews, and we’ve learnt that pressure is for doctors treating children in intensive care. The number of babies he’s saved from being thrown out of the bath water is truly heroic.

Food-gate

One of the more controversial club announcements this season; the reminder that outside food and drink should not be brought into Blundell Park caused the predictable fan meltdown, but provided minutes of entertainment on social media seeing what contraband items had been smuggled into the ground. I must admit, when I walk through a sea of Tangfastics and Squashies clat packets in the Pontoon after a match, I consider whether an old school Blundell Park tuck shop within the ground could be a shrewd business investment.

Blundell Park, the gift that keeps on giving

Neglected under previous owners and showing its glorious but debilitating age, BP now requires more steel than Scunthorpe just to tread the health and safety waters. Not to mention a pitch needing more than a few packets of grass seed from Pennels to facilitate a slick, passing game of football. Still, its 'cheaper' than a new ground I suppose.

Dave and Dave

Dave Moore deserves all the plaudits on the occasion of his retirement. Possibly the one we didn’t see coming was poignancy of the tribute from David Artell. In the relatively short space of time they’ve worked together they’ve built a huge amount of trust and respect and you genuinely felt the sadness in Artell’s words. It’s like when your best mate at work leaves and there’s a huge void to fill.

So, there we have it, the 24/25 season is done. What will next season bring? Will the Blundell Park tuck shop open? Will the seagull find himself in the starting line up? And who will David Artell have breakfast with now that Dave Moore has hung up his physio bag? Jesting aside, eleven weeks to go…UTM