Cod Almighty | Diary
Get up!
20 November 2025
Before last weekend, the Mariners had the best disciplinary record in the fourth division. An admirable feat, given that many clubs at this level (and indeed any level) are often sent out with cynical intentions in a world where free kicks can be ‘bought’ and players are ‘entitled’ to go down if an opponent so much as breathes on them in the final third.
Town fans have, over the years, pondered whether our teams have been too nice, not streetwise enough, or too naïve when it comes to the dark arts, having fallen for some of the oldest tricks in the book to lose matches to sides that know how to fall, and how to play the referee like a fiddle.
Gamesmanship, cheating, call it what you like. It might win you three points on a Saturday, but it wins you few friends in the long run. Your West Yorkshire diary, for one, is pleased that this particular Town side hasn’t stooped so low. After all, while you can beat ‘em, there’s no need to join ‘em.
Since I decided to become a coach for a local under-8 side a couple of months ago, I’ve witnessed none of the cynical play we all see at football matches up and down the country, or across the world on TV. It’s become part of the sport’s fabric. We’ve become immune to it. Proof, if proof were needed, that gamesmanship is taught. At what stage this occurs, I don’t know. And if it isn’t taught, it’s most certainly learned.
I’m not on a crusade to cut it out. I’m realistic. All I can do is do my bit. Over the past couple of months, we’ve spoken to the children about integrity — doing the right thing when no one is looking. Usually, on a Saturday morning when we play our matches, everyone is looking, so they don’t really get it. But they will.
We have been given some right pastings since the team formed at under-7 level. I watched as a parent from the sidelines, shouting only encouragement to my boy and his friends as they got walloped 22-0 on a particularly cruel Saturday morning last year. The team that beat us had two boys in their side that were training with Hull City and Manchester City. They were pinging the ball into the top corner during the warm-up. Two of our boys, meanwhile, chased each other round with sticks
Six weeks ago we played a team much too good for us. An admin error put them in our division, apparently. They beat us 8-1. One of their players — the most skilful on the pitch by far — was the dirtiest we'd encountered so far on our short journey. He feigned injury, he dived, he left his foot in after challenging for the ball. He was seven, possibly eight years old. The only reason he was behaving like that was because someone had either taught him to, or he felt he had to. No one had took him to one side and told him, 'Look, you're one of the most talented players in the team. You don't need to dive and cheat and hurt others.'
While everything is noted and recorded by the FA, nothing is published at this age. Scores matter, of course, because teams need to find their place in a league system so they can play others of similar ability. We learnt nothing from our 22-0 defeat, and I’m sure our opponents felt the same. We were told what we suspected — that we finished bottom of the bottom division. Now, at least, we're playing similarly limited teams and are able to compete in a way that we weren’t able to before.
Last weekend we won a trophy. It was a two-legged affair, and after winning our home game 4-3 we lost 1-0 away. When extra time delivered no further goals, it went to penalties and we won 3-2. There was only one free kick in the entire match (and, ironically, our opponents scored from it).
The standard doesn’t matter. The games are now much closer, much more competitive, and yet… there remain barely any free kicks. Plenty of corners, kick-ins and goal kicks, but no tripping, no diving, no buying anything off the referee (who’s usually a coach from the home team). It’s pure, it’s innocent, it’s so damn noticeable.
It’s the children’s instinct not to foul. If they do, it’s always accidental. Every single professional footballer out there — even those at Cambridge United this season — would have played as innocently and as freely as our boys and girls do every Saturday morning.
It’s early days for me as a coach. I don’t want the kids to be swayed by the perceived rewards that come from cynical play. For now, at least, it matters that my boy can watch a Grimsby team that goes out there and plays fairly. They might not be perfect, but Pym's red card aside last Saturday, we're pretty good at sending the right message to the next generation of players and fans who are watching on, hoping to emulate their heroes in the future.
UTM!