Cod Almighty | Diary

As safe as yesterday is

21 November 2025

When is the right time to move on from Runaway? It'll have to happen at some point for our own wellbeing. Some day in the future, the enmity will have to be buried along with the hatchet and we'll move on, a little lighter of step, a little freer of mind. Someday, we will be able to look back on those times, those threadbare times, those Van Dyke-esque-player times, those ridiculous own goal times, those darts-playing times, those flat-cap-man-of-the-people-best-ask-the-wife-my-best-mate-john-lying-bastard times, those under-the-table, underhand, under-developed, under-cooked, under-planned, couldn't-even-get-it-right-with-a-fraudster times. Some day. But that day won't be tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a day when fans will be tempted to rile Runaway, rip into him, rage-bait him, ridicule him, run him ragged and watch him run the touchline to try to remonstrate while a thousand fans in black and white point and laugh and taunt. But beware temptation, guys, it is a dangerous desire that too often leads to disaster.

Tomorrow will only add fuel to the fire as our (hopefully mini-) blip is sure to continue against a team that we rarely beat, managed by a shady chap to whom we've been desperate to serve slice of humble pie. So desperate that we might be accused of wanting it too much and so the football gods, the heads of the hoodoos, the grand viziers of the voodoos will serve up a scoreline to be described only as chastening.

Tomorrow, then, is the day to wind our necks in and wait for the humble pie to be served up around February as the cold weather, the winning run and the hollow platitudes and criticisms will catch up with the hollow Holloway and he will run away again, tail tucked for a brief period until the rent-a-quote to end all rent-a-quotes is welcomed back into the media fold and some owner, desperate for a quick fix and a slow corruption will bring him back into the game.

Tomorrow's focus should, instead, be on the rest of the coaching staff: Bignot, Gunning and Mildenhall are all employed at the County Ground and I wish them all well, even if all I want to do is highlight the lack of well I wish to their boss. Bignot wasn't given enough time, Gunning was obviously at one of his low points when playing for us and taking that hit to the head (which caused my eldest - very young at the time, but still my eldest - nightmares that night, convinced as he was that he'd seen someone die) makes him one of our more memorable players in a period of churn that makes most faces and performances blur, and Mildenhall was a solid servant between the sticks who had the misfortune to be at the club during another of Fenty's particularly mismanaged periods. Ah, yes, the 05-06 season. Time to move on.

So, Swindon tomorrow. Our record against them really is awful. We've lost six of the last seven, have only won at the County Ground twice. Ever. That's ever. To clutch at straws, both of those occasions were this century, but we'll put on our miserable Town caps and look at it as two wins in 104 years.

But Artell is as bullish as ever, insisting that we will cause them problems and that the league leaders and ourselves are pretty much on the same level. Possibly. We have shown we can and will score against anyone. We have also shown that we will concede against anyone. In an interesting effort to sort that last point out, possibly more through luck than judgement as Artell was as surprised as everyone else that it was possible, we have brought in an emergency goalkeeper. Richard O’Donnell, he of the former Town player fame (I don't remember him. He played 10 games for us and I don't remember him. How come I can remember Tommy-fucking-Forecast but I can’t remember O'Donnell? I thought our psyches were supposed to wipe the trauma?) and journeyman extraordinaire. He's got a Wikipedia page that reads a like a stag night pub crawl. Let's hope he brings the joy.

Our internationals (not tired of saying that!) are fit and raring to go; Sweeney and Tharme are still nowhere near the first team; Svanthorsen is with the first team and Burns has been rested for the last couple of weeks, so both are available for tomorrow. It's a paradise in DN35, Artell tells us, that he's been able to rest Burns. Possibly. He should've started against Chesterfield for me, but no one asked me.

As is right and proper. I know nothing except that I'm annoyed and that I can't see the annoyance ending tomorrow and that Town are unlikely to temper the pain of the first match in the Ashes. Still, if someone puts 50p in Vernam and shakes him up a bit, maybe we'll see a few tears from the Runaway yet.