Cod Almighty | Diary

Didn't you used to play for Town?

10 January 2022

Miss Guest Diary writes: That's three Saturdays in a row now with no Town game. Yes, I know one of them was Christmas Day, but still. Thank goodness the club have arranged for the Altrincham game to be brought forward to next Saturday. Watching random televised matches and shouting "foul throw" at the screen while getting exasperated at the commentators continually apologizing in case we hear some "industrial language" is no substitute for the real thing. I'd even welcome a rant from that bloke at the back of the Pontoon who thinks Town deserve to still be playing the likes of West Brom instead of Wealdstone.

The main joy of FA Cup weekend – apart, obviously, from seeing teams like Newcastle get dumped out by a lower league team – is seeing how many ex-Town players you can spot. I'm pretty good at remembering those who've been on contract or had a long loan, but Mr Butcher takes it to a whole new level, coming up with players who made only a couple of appearances or even just had a trial years ago. Joe Ironside, anyone?

In years to come Ryan Sears may well feature in our remembrances, having departed from the club at the weekend after his contract was cancelled by mutual consent.

Talking of Mr B, in an effort to make it feel like I haven't completely wasted a weekend, I also did some work on a small project I started last year. Some of you may be aware that 2022 marks the 20th anniversary of Cod Almighty and I offered to upload all the Butcher match reports written before the site existed. Don't get excited, though – I'm still in the 1999/2000 season but I'm afraid that, so far, they are tedious in the extreme.

Mr Butcher took some time to find his unique style, so there is no "bedrumbling" nor "zazooming" to be found; and the cultural references and misquoted lyrics make only a rare appearance. He is also curiously obsessed with the goalposts, endlessly describing whether a shot went wide of the right-hand or left-hand post, and every incident seems to occur eight yards out from the goal. In his defence, the "Lever moment" was born and he did coin a couple of his trademark nicknames – the Jellyfish and My Little Show Pony. If you want to know who they refer to you'll just have to suffer through the reports.

At least we have an actual game to look forward to tomorrow. I say look forward to but, having felt quite upbeat for Town's prospects after last Monday, that has now turned to apprehension. Halifax went top of the division after beating Eastleigh 4-0 on Saturday, scoring three of those goals in a 15-minute spell in the second half. Gulp. Shades of 2016 or, even worse, 2013. No team news as yet, but I'm sure we're all hoping for a return of the McAtee/Taylor partnership which worked so well at the start of the season.

Badge-gate continues to rumble on. Rich Lyons issued a clarifying statement last week which seems to have caused nearly as much furore as the suggested badge tweak itself, and now Paul Thunderclife has weighed into the debate. Anyway, you can vote for which design you prefer on the club website.

I find myself in a minority of one here at Cod Almighty Towers in liking the new design, flag and all, even though I'm aware its adoption would render my 27 Town mugs obsolete. Or perhaps they'll become instant retro collectables.

UTM